In most marriages where couples are not intentional about their romance, having kids often leads to the demise of romance.
Ideally, the arrival of kids should fuel romance. This means that having kids should bring you and your significant other closer and should help you enjoy shared moments where you both learn to appreciate each other.
Having children should contribute to your romance because it is in these little things, such as watching how your partner bonds with your child, that your heart swells with love for your partner. However, it’s not as easy as it sounds, but it is doable. This is something that, with a lot of determination, consistency, and teamwork with your partner, you can achieve.
So, if you have been looking for ways to keep the romance alive after kids, this post will help you find the balance and create the beautiful symphony that you need.
12 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive After Kids
These tips on how to keep the romance alive after kids are practices that the happiest of couples have implemented time and time again.
1. Plan Surprise Date Nights
When you have kids, having a date night might seem almost impossible, but it is doable. This means you just have to put a lot of thought into it.
Having kids who always require your attention, and at the same time being a new parent who finds it difficult to stay apart from their kids for more than a few minutes, can make it hard for you to enjoy a night out with your partner. This means that you have to consider many factors depending on the peculiarities of your situation.
First, you need to ensure that the kids are in a safe space with someone you trust to take care of them. You need to know where you both are going, and you need to determine how much time you can spend before your partner starts getting antsy about returning to the kids. It might not be easy at first, but over time, it gets easier.
Eventually, you will discover that this can become a routine, and you can both transition from having surprise date nights to planned date nights, which contributes more to the success of the relationship.
Surprise date nights are one way to keep the romance alive after having kids, and it’s one of the ways to get your wife in the mood.
By the way, if you’re looking for the perfect date night ideas you can enjoy with your partner, both in the confines of your home or outdoors, then check out these 28 cute date night ideas to keep the spark alive, or 30 at-home date night ideas to spice up your love life.
2. Leave Love Notes Around The House
Your other half is probably frustrated; she’s tired from possibly looking after the child all night long, and she still has chores to do. Imagine her finding a love note that expresses how much you love her, how much you see what she’s doing, and how lucky you feel to have her in your life. There is nothing better to melt her frustrations away faster than these beautiful words that keep the romance alive.
Leaving love notes around the house for your partner to find is just another way to create beautiful and special moments that your partner can always look forward to. It is one of the ways to keep the romance alive after having kids.
Also, remember that writing love notes for your mate is one of the ways to create a coping mechanism for your partner when they are overwhelmed by the kids. These love notes galvanize your partner because it makes them happier, which makes it easier for them to take things in stride.
If you’re lacking ideas on what to write, here are some love note inspirations to get you started.
3. Share A Hobby
One of the tips for keeping the spark alive after kids is to share a hobby. The best marriages are those where couples have at least one hobby they share.
One of the things that having kids does is that it can drive you apart from your partner, but when you have a shared hobby, it is easier to find a common ground outside of marriage; it is easier to connect in the way that matters.
Sharing hobbies creates an atmosphere where you have more to share with your partner.
Couples should cultivate a hobby they both like before they start having kids. If you don’t have a hobby you and your significant other share, it is not too late. This is also a good time to start because sharing hobbies is one of the good ways to strengthen your bond with your partner.
Having shared hobbies helps you and your partner enjoy life outside of kids and marriage. This particular tip is what I have used to keep a lot of couples together even when there is a little chaos going on.
4. Take Weekend Getaways
There is an age at which your kids might be where it’s not exactly advisable to leave them with someone else, no matter how close you are to that person. Conversely, there is an age at which your kids can be left with someone else, allowing you to have a weekend getaway with your partner. It’s very important to leave your kids with a trusted friend, family member, or neighbor.
One of the ways to keep the romance alive after kids is to take weekend getaways. Your inability to temporarily detach yourself from your kids can put a damper on your romance. Your significant other might not always want to spend time with the kids; their desire might be to spend time with you alone, so there is a need to satisfy that desire.
5. Cook Dinner Together
One of the ways on how to keep the romance alive after having a baby is to cook dinner together. This can become a hobby that both you and your significant other enjoy. It’s a wholesome date idea that many couples find enjoyable.
You both do not have to actively participate in the cooking process. The one who is more tired can just take the back seat and do simpler tasks like chopping the ingredients and assisting in tasting. Cooking together provides an opportunity to share details about your day and catch up with each other.
Spending time together is psychologically impactful; it can make you feel good when you go to sleep and help you wake up feeling refreshed.
6. Exchange Massages
Taking care of the kids can trap stress in your bones and body, and maybe that’s why you’re always tired even after a long rest. So, one of the ways on how to rekindle your marriage after kids and also connect with your partner is to exchange messages. This is one of the most effective ways to spend time with your partner and connect, despite the chaos that comes with having kids.
You can pick a random day of the week to treat your partner to a nice massage and work out the k#nks. If this is a joint plan, your partner can also massage you, making you feel good. If you want, you can engage in small talk.
7. Indulge In Spontaneous S#x
One of the downsides of having kids is that you might sometimes not be in the mood for physical intimacy with your partner. The frustration and the constant running around that comes with raising children are bound to leave you tired and out of breath, so you may not even have time to view your partner in a romantic light, nor do you have time to entertain romantic thoughts.
So, what do you do in this kind of situation? You know the peculiarity of your situation, so you need to find ways to indulge in spontaneous s#x with your partner.
Planning s#x might not always work out because anything can happen, but with spontaneity, the aim is simple: maximize the moment.
You could put your child to bed early or seize the moment when your child is asleep to engage in spontaneous s#x. Such spontaneity is useful in keeping both of you together and it’s one of the tips for keeping the romance alive after having kids.
8. Bath Together Every Day
One of the steps to keeping the romance alive after baby is born is to bathe together every day.
You might feel like your partner will lose their attraction to you if you always shower together. In contrast, bathing together increases your partner’s attraction to you and makes you more confident and comfortable in your skin.
Another benefit of bathing together is the physical intimacy it can bring. The warm water and nearness to each other is a great way to relax, leading to a more intimate and passionate experience.
It can also be a fun activity with the opportunity to wash each other’s hair or give massages and have intimate conversations.
Bathing with your significant other is one of the great ways to connect with your partner on a deeper level and unwind since bathing has been proven to relieve stress.
Stress can accumulate all through the day but bathing with your partner will refresh you and also spice up your marriage in the ways that matter.
9. Have A Picnic In The Backyard
One of the tips to keep intimacy alive after kids is to have a picnic in the backyard with your partner.
You can always do this with the kids but the primary focus should be you and your partner. If you don’t want to have this picnic with your kids, it is perfectly alright. You can ship the kids to your neighbor’s or trusted friend.
A picnic in the backyard is one of the cheap date ideas for couples on a budget to connect after a long time. You can decide what kind of picnic you want to have. What is most important is that you both connect and have fun in a way you both will appreciate and look back on fondly.
10. Dance Together In The Living Room
This might not seem significant, but it is quite impactful in that dancing with your significant other is one of the simplest ways to connect with your partner without much effort. It’s also one of the ways to keep the romance alive after kids.
Just put on some sensual music in the background and look into your partner’s eyes. If physical contact has dwindled and is not as passionate as it once was, rekindle the spark in your relationship by engaging in a slow, sensual waltz.
11. Plan A Staycation At Home
A staycation at home is an excellent idea. This would involve you and your partner entrusting your kids to a trusted family member, locking the doors, and enjoying time together.
One of the things to do to keep romance alive after having kids is to plan a staycation at home. A staycation is wonderful because you don’t have to go out or do much to have fun with your partner.
A staycation is your golden opportunity to reignite that spark and foster the feeling of passionate love that might have been dormant for a while.
12. Share A Bubble Bath One Day Per Week
Taking a bubble bath with your partner once a week is one of the ways to keep the romance alive after having kids.
A bubble bath doesn’t require much, but the rewards are always worthwhile because the night is one that is filled with a lot of potential.
Play some sensual music in the background, tailored to your taste, and fill the bathtub with warm or cool water, as you prefer. Scatter some sweet-smelling flowers and add fragrance to enhance the atmosphere. Have your wine ready, and then invite your partner to join you for a delightful bath.
Final Thoughts On Ways To Keep The Romance Alive After Kids
Keeping the romance alive after kids is not as easy as it sounds, but the beauty lies in its rewards, as it is one of the things that contributes to the longevity of your marriage. This post on ways to keep the romance alive after kids should inspire you to go the extra mile to protect what brought you two together.
Pin this for later!
