Deal breakers in a relationship are the proverbial little foxes that destroy the vine. You can be having a wonderful beautiful relationship and you end up becoming frustrated with the relationship because of some deal breakers that are beginning to affect your well-being.
There are lots of relationship deal breakers and it varies depending on the personality of one individual to another. These common deal breakers are things that apply to almost everybody and this is why from my years of experience as a counselor and a therapist I have written out some deal breakers that have destroyed the best of relationships.
This post will help you identify these deal breakers and guide you on ways to avoid them so you can lead a stress-free life.
What Is A Relationship Deal Breaker?
A relationship deal breaker is any kind of attitude or outlook towards life that can affect the physical and mental health, career or dreams of a partner either short-term or long-term. Moreso, deal breakers also affect the health and foundation of the relationship.
What Are The Most Common Relationship Deal-Breakers?
The most common relationship deal breakers include financial irresponsibility, dishonesty, uncaring attitude, nonchalant attitude, or physical and emotional abuse. These are the common deal breakers that destroy relationships.
20 Deal Breakers In A Relationship You Should Never Skip
These biggest relationship deal breakers must never be ignored because ignoring them would affect you in the long run and is capable of destroying your life.
1. Emotional Abuse
One of the deal breakers in a relationship that you must avoid is being with a partner who abuses you emotionally. I know what it feels like to grow up with parents who constantly put you down with their words because I have come in contact with a lot of clients who needed to break free of its effect.
One of the things that you must avoid in a relationship is emotional abuse. If you have a partner who is always criticizing you, insulting you, putting you down with their words, trying to poke your self-esteem, trying to make you feel bad, trying to make you feel less of yourself then that is something you must not let skip or ignore.
Emotional abuse is one of the top warning signs of a toxic relationship.
2. Nonchalant Attitude
Nonchalant attitude is one of the top deal breakers in a relationship. Having a partner who does not take you or your words seriously can be quite frustrating. Nonchalance can affect the health of your relationship because you can be the only one putting in all the effort.
Nonchalance is not caring about anything and when you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about anything, what are the chances that they will care about you?
3. Physical Abuse
One deal breaker you should never skip is physical abuse because it goes beyond battering the body, it affects your mental health.
How do you feel when your partner tells you that he loves you and you are the only one in his life, only to find out that you are not the only one in the picture, there are a lot of other women in the picture.
Cheating is one of the deal breakers in a relationship that I believe must not be accepted because it could be one of the giveaway signs he doesn’t love you anymore. The effect of cheating does not only affect the health of the relationship, it can destroy your self-esteem.
If you are being cheated on constantly, it affects your self-esteem, it makes you feel like you cannot keep a man and it can embitter you against the entire male population.
Top Deal Breakers In A Relationship
You have a partner who lies right off the bat; a partner who is always lying and is so dishonest about their activities and lives, then this is a deal breaker. Lying would make you find it difficult to trust your partner because you don’t even know what they are doing with their lives, you cannot even say that you know them.
Personally, I find lying to be a deal breaker because I can’t be with someone who is always lying and so dishonest that I can’t even trust him.
6. Extreme Anger
Extreme anger is one of the deal breakers in a relationship because people who get angry easily and cannot control their anger go to extreme lengths to show their anger. This a red flag because you don’t know what can set them off, they need therapy and you do not want to be the one to fix them; you can end up with bruises.
When it comes to extreme anger, it doesn’t matter that they love you, what is most important to them is letting out that anger and if you are in the way, you are going to get caught in the crossfire.
This should be one of the surefire signs that you should move on because you cannot manage this particular deal breaker.
Laziness is one of the red flags in relationships that you must avoid.
I was once with a lazy partner. He did not want to do anything and it reflected in his career, hygiene, and financial life. If you are looking for something long-term and you end up getting married to a lazy partner, you’d have to foot all the bills and this can be very frustrating, knowing fully well you don’t have a partner your kids can make a model out of.
8. Financial Irresponsibility
Financial irresponsibility is one of the top relationship deal breakers that you must avoid because people who are financially irresponsible can not help you achieve your dreams.
When you get married to a financially irresponsible person, you can say goodbye to your dreams of building wealth, owning a house, and attaining financial freedom because they will spend money on the most ridiculous things. You cannot even trust them with money or make concrete plans with them.
Biggest Deal Breakers In A Relationship
9. Personal Hygiene
Personal hygiene is one of the worst deal breakers in relationships. If you find yourself with a man who believes in people cleaning up after him and does not care about his surroundings, it’s safe to say, you are with a child.
If you’re looking for something long-term, like marriage, it’s bad enough that you’re going to have to clean up after your kids, so do you want to clean up after a full-fledged man? You cannot be with somebody who is so lackadaisical about their hygiene.
Cleanliness is next to godliness either with a man or woman who does not believe in hygiene.
10. Career Goals
These are questions that you need to ask before you get married. “Where are you and that person headed in life? Deal breakers in a relationship does not even have to be negative, it can just be peculiar to you.
If you and your partner are not treading the same path in life, your jobs will probably take you to different countries or they will not be in your life for the most part of the marriage and will not be around to parent with you, this can be a deal breaker if you are big on these things.
11. Kids Or No Kids
Kids or no kids can be one of the non-negative deal breakers in a relationship because there are people who don’t want to have kids and if you want a kid this is a deal breaker because you don’t want to deceive yourself into thinking that it does not matter, you can convince them in future, only to get married and spend years with them and realize that they are not budging in their decision to have children. This will leave you feeling frustrated.
This is a deal breaker that you must not skip, else it will affect you in the near future.
One of the biggest deal breaker in a relationship is if your partner does not accept you the way you are.
I had a client who was on the thick side and she was with a man who wanted a slender woman. Each time, her partner projected his desire of wanting a slim lady on her, it began to affect her self-esteem. If your partner does not accept you the way you are and does not accept your flaws, then this is a deal breaker.
This is not an excuse for bad behavior but we are not perfect, we have flaws so if your partner finds it difficult to accept you for who you are then it’s a deal breaker.
Common Deal Breakers In A Relationship
13. High Living
High living can be one of the deal breakers in a relationship if you find following trends as frivolous.
If you are with a partner who believes in fine dining, who believes in going to the latest restaurant, buying the latest gadgets and clothings, you might want to take a step back and have a rethink.
If you have all the money in the world and it does not bother you it can be okay but the desire for high living is often an indicator of shallowness in a person. If you are not exactly buoyant financially, this is going to affect your financial life and your decision-making process; so this can be a deal breaker.
Religion is one of the common deal breakers in a relationship.
If you are with a partner who does not believe in what you believe and who does not show regard for what you believe in then that’s a deal breaker. This is because you don’t want to be with someone who undermines what you regard as the core of your existence.
Your deal breaker can also be a partner who does not believe in what you believe, it’s valid because we want to be with like-minded people who share similar interests.
A partner who is unwilling to adapt and learn is one of the huge deal breakers in a relationship. If you’re with a partner who does not believe in adapting to the demands of the relationship and is not interested in learning positive things that can advance the relationship, this is dangerous.
For example, if I was with a partner who believes that the only way you can show love is by giving gifts and money and what you want is his time and his attention, then it’s no use being in a relationship.
16. Uncaring Attitude
A partner who does not care about you, who does not care about what you do, your dreams and aspirations is a big deal breaker.
How do you build a foundation of love, trust, and care with someone who doesn’t care about anything that you do? An uncaring attitude is one of the fastest ways to make somebody feel unloved and it’s one of the signs that the guy is not into you.
That’s one of the fastest ways to know that a guy is not into you because he’s not after your welfare, rendering help, and trying to be involved in your life.
Worst Deal Breakers In Relationships
This can manifest in many forms. A partner who is insecure about you meeting with the opposite gender, insecure about your loyalty is a big deal breaker because how else do you advance in life, how else do you create new memories if you don’t meet new people?
18. Close Relationship With Ex
When you’re with a partner who still maintains a close relationship with an ex then it’s one of the very big deal breakers in a relationship. Except your partner has business deals with his ex or has something valuable that is tying them together, I don’t see any reason why your partner should maintain consistent contact with an ex.
Your partner might tell you to learn how to stop being jealous in a relationship; this is not proper because your feelings in this context are valid.
When you’re with a partner who has an addiction or is suffering from substance ab#se. This is one of the top deal breakers in a relationship especially if they’re never willing to work on it or do anything about this. You must not ignore this deal breaker because it can affect you.
Final Thoughts On Deal Breakers In Relationship
From years of experience as a therapist, I can tell you confidently that these relationship deal breakers are things that manifest early on in most relationships and it’s just because of the love most partners tolerate these deal breakers. Unfortunately, it only comes back and backfires on them. Identifying these deal breakers will help so that you don’t end up in relationships that can ruin your life.
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