An old proverb says that every good thing has an expiry day to end. That may not hold true in all situations, but it is an eventuality we must accept can happen.
Most relationships begin with high expectations of happily ever after, but with time, the changing nature of people and life circumstances, such expectations may fall short as couples fall out of love with each other.
So what are the reasons to end a relationship? Knowing the uncertain and vagary conditions of life, how do you accept that your relationship is ending? What are the signs it’s time to end the relationship?
Get some bars of chocolate and chill, as you ride with me on exploring the 15 sure signs it’s time to end the relationship.
1. Communication Has Become Very Little
Good and effective communication is one of the signs of a healthy relationship.
Couples who are in love talk often, all the time, every now and, through the day, and night. They always have something to share, and say to each other, enjoy each other’s company, and take pleasure in whatever the other party wants to say.
Time is of no importance when they are engaged in heartfelt communication. That you find nothing to talk about could indicate that you have grown apart and have nothing in common any longer, and it’s a sign to end the relationship.
2. You Rarely Fight
When you rarely argue, fight or quarrel over anything, then this may be a valid reason to end a relationship. It reveals that one of both of you no longer care enough or give a hoot about where the union is headed to.
Arguing and quarrelling is not bad in itself, it allows you both to let off steam, learn to resolve differences in a positive way, understand and know each other more intimately.
On the other hand, excessive fighting and quarrelling could also mean that something is not healthy and may be a relationship ending signal. The ideal situation is a balance between both ends.
3. Out Of Mind, Out Of Sight
The thought of a loved one is never out of your mind. You travelled; they are there, you’re at work; their thoughts linger on your mind, you are in trouble; they are the first you reach out to, and their pain is yours.
You carry them with you everywhere you go and vice-versa. But when the combination of these is no longer your experience, then you may have to accept that your relationship is ending.
4. When One Or Both Parties Do Not Care Anymore
Successful relationships require a lot of sacrifices and commitments from both parties. It may be justifiable to end a relationship if one or both parties no longer feel the need to show up, create time to make it work or contribute to the wellbeing of the union.
To be together, grow together and stand together even in difficult seasons of life, are obligations lovers owe each other and when this is no longer a priority, then it is time to say goodbye and move on.
5. When Needs And Expectations Are Not Met
Every relationship comes with needs and expectations. We all are differently wired, with differing needs, so you should know that each person expects something that needs to be met in a relationship.
These expectations can range from emotional fulfilment to desiring enough time with your partner, sensual needs, or practical need, like wanting them to manage money, resources and time proficiently.
When one partner feels that the other isn’t satisfying their needs, it is advisable to communicate that for immediate resolution. But if the other party is not ready to make adjustments to improve, or try to meet or fulfill that expectation(s), it’s probably a sign to end the relationship.
6. When The Relationship Becomes An Obligation
Most people tend to remain in failed relationships because they feel that they have invested their life and resources into them.
They are scared and reluctant to venture out for something new and fresh because of their fear of loneliness, rejection and insecurity of being outside of a relationship.
When we arrive at this junction, the relationship becomes boring, passionless, dull, and obligated. There is nothing new to look forward to, and this may be a good reason to end the relationship.
7. When The Relationship Becomes Competitive
A relationship should be complementary and not competitive.
Do you often find yourself in competition with your partner? Do you consider each other as a threat? Are you constrained to share your good news of success and achievements with your partner? Are you constantly criticized and put down by your partner because your income has increased more than his?
If you answered in the positive to some or all of these questions, then be pragmatic enough to see it as a relationship ending warning signs.
8. Getting Emotional Fulfillment From Others
We are emotional beings. A relationship should be an avenue to meet your emotional, intimate and other needs. One of the attributes of a healthy relationship is that the couple enjoys talking together.
Your partner should be your go-to person when you have a joke to share, when you want to gossip about someone and when you talk about your deepest need and fears. Do you feel emotionally alone and disconnected even though you are together?
If you find yourself always reaching out to someone else to meet that emotional need to share; like a colleague at work, or a friend on social media; especially if they are of the opposite gender, then there is a huge gap between you two.
Your partner is no longer your primary confidant if you get to share your good or bad news with somebody else before them. If you were able to work it out, beautiful; but if you can’t, then this may be a sign to end the relationship.
9. You Enjoy And Seek The Company Of Others
The most natural thing in the world is for couples to want to spend time together and soak in each other’s love. Most couples slide into routines that become their norms.
Do you observe that you hardly spend time together? Has your relationship declined in the past few months? Are you bored with your partner, and with life in general, this could mean you are no longer suitable for each other?
Spending more time with others at the expense of intimate personal time suggests a deep level of emotional detachment.
If the connection between you both that used to be fun and sweet is now filled with spending more time with friends, and specifically with those of the opposite gender, or you notice that he is spending less time with you and more with his circle of friends, your relationship may be moving in a different direction and this could be a sign that the relationship is coming to an end.
10. You Are Making More Effort Than Your Partner
Building a successful relationship is a joint responsibility of both parties and does not rely solely on the effort of one person.
A healthy and loving relationship is all about giving and making efforts and sacrifices to make it work.
When you discover that you are the only one investing so much in that relationship while your partner does nothing but receive, you may need no one to tell you that it is time to end the relationship.
11. A Disparity In Values And Beliefs
Couples who share similar values and beliefs thrive well and build great relationships together. Opposites attract so they say, but what keeps a relationship steady in the long term is shared beliefs, life philosophies and values. This strengthens the bond between the parties and turns them into lifelong partners and friends.
Do you tell lies? You would likely not want to be with someone who does. Do you love fitness? You may unlikely be attracted to someone who is out of shape. And sometimes also, couples find out that their values change with time.
When such happens, the foundational reason of the relationship has collapsed, thus, it has become imperative for the parties to ask themselves if the relationship is worth going forward with or if this is a huge sign for its end.
12. Loss Of Desire For Lovemaking
Lovemaking bond couples together even more and add spice to a relationship.
Lovemaking is more than just physical intercourse, for it provides an allowance for partners to be vulnerable, connected and be emotionally open with each other, which is the foundation of any relationship.
It is perfectly healthy to reach out to your partner at odd times for a quickie. In the bedroom, kitchen, living room and every other place the mood comes on.
You both have ceased lovemaking, and have stopped reaching for one another. Changes in the bedroom may not bring death to a relationship but add with other issues, they might be a major indication of a pending doom.
If you’re not connecting physically with your partner, you are probably already emotionally disconnected. Sensual intimacy is an important part of a relationship which both parties must pay attention to, so a lack of sensual interest is already a problem.
When the thought of your partner coming close or touching you intimately puts you off, it could be a signs it’s time to end the relationship.
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