Every woman at some point in time has thoughts of wanting to be their man’s brain in bed but doesn’t know how to. Permit me to ask, will you be willing to make your love life pleasurable and more satisfying not just for you but your man also?
Research has it that lovemaking and sensual intimacy is one of the most common areas of conflict in marriages.
Sitting with couples often to discuss made me discover that couples find it difficult to express themselves the way they want to in bed either because they don’t know what to do or because they find it difficult to articulate their fantasies to their spouses.
Some men have given up their bedrooms and moved into guest rooms because they are frustrated with their love life.
I also discovered that it’s easier for couples to talk about other areas of their lives than discussing being intimate. Not to worry, that’s why this post is here to help you discover mistakes women make in bed and how to avoid them.
I discover also that women find it easier to discuss their love life with friends than with their spouse. Blame it on society and some wrong myths we picked up from our environment. Myths like women shouldn’t be heard, they are to submit and allow the men dominate them (in not talking about women emancipation here please).
For some others, it could be fear or even shame. Regardless of the reasons, a good dialogue should be the starting point if your man is beginning to complain or you feel you can’t please your man in bed.
Let him know your fantasies, listen to your spouse response and ask how you can make them happy in bed, I know some women are frustrated or even angry because they have tried all they can but can’t hit the notes with their men. You are not alone, you have the company of others who feel the same way you feel.
I understand your desire sometimes is to have your man cry in bed which is why we will be highlighting a few mistakes women make in bed.
Wouldn’t you love to be the lucky lady who makes her man happy every night by giving him some hot lovemaking just the way he wants it? How about making him have eyes for you only because of your sensual prowess?
We are going to be exploring step by step some mistakes women make in bed and help you be that woman your man will want to be with in bed.
To some women, men are complicated but this isn’t true. We only need to understand them and how they were wired biologically. We need to know what turns them on and off and also see some mistakes women make in bed with them.
We will together peel back the layers of mystery surrounding how we behave in bed that may be driving our men away.
1. Not Partaking In Foreplay
Jade mentioned this as his turn off whenever he’s with any lady, In his words “the ladies just lie like a lifeless fish and expect me to warm them up, that’s not fair”.
I’d call this starfishing ladies, just laying on your back and not doing anything while in bed with your man. No kissing, not making any effort.
Ladies step up your game here please. Be engaging. You can do this by initiating lovemaking sometimes. If you can’t be vocal about it, be subtle by making moves.
Try being romantic by wearing lingerie or reaching out for a kiss and rubbing your man’s head and the rest will be history. On the other hand, I’ve seen ladies try being subtle and end up getting frustrated and disappointed.
Don’t give up, instead just say what you want, you shouldn’t be shy talking to your man especially when you are a couple. You can begin by caressing, kissing and also doing your level exercise which tightens you down there and also gives you some good pleasure.
2. When They Make Lovemaking Look Like Payment For Something
My lady will always ask me for gifts and whenever I do, the reward I get is lovemaking and whenever I can’t meet her demands, she goes to bed in shorts, says Mike. That’s not good, after I couldn’t bear it, I blurted out one day, you are my wife and not a call girl, come off this attitude.
I think we should flip this over ladies by not making it seem as if our men have to pay for lovemaking. How about rewarding your man for doing something nice for you or giving him some surprise sessions?
3. Faking Climax
This is a no no ladies. Remember that lovemaking is something men love and most have had several sensual experiences before having you. This means that some of them are masters of the game so if you pretend it won’t be difficult for them to discover.
Another point to note also is that your body will not lie or pretend either. A fully aroused woman isn’t difficult to spot while in bed as the vulva will be swollen due to blood circulating in that direction.
Secondly, she will emit some fluid and won’t be dry in her little hole. If any or all of this isn’t happening and a woman pretends to have reached her climax, the man will definitely know. This is where dialogue comes in.
For some ladies they need to be touched in specific ways to achieve that, let your man know. A woman not well lubricated will torture her man in bed.
4. Being Overconfident
I’d say it this way because some ladies are yet to master the act of lovemaking. Some ladies assume they know it and don’t take time to practice gradually instead they go hard on me leaving my young dude in bruises, says Cris.
I once had a lady on top of me and she went far behind and since I wasn’t very flexible to maneuver and go with her flow, my joystick felt like it was going to break off because she was too hard on me.
A lady I had an opportunity to be with was so hard on giving me a head and I couldn’t wait for her to end it because it appeared she was punishing me. Biting also isn’t good. Easy does it.
One of the biggest mistakes women make in bed is being afraid to make mistakes. And the extreme is being overconfident. Either way, both extremes are not good at all. Being able to strike a balance is better.
5. Being Silent In Bed
Dawn says, he likes his ladies being vocal and engaging. Let me know how it feels with you he says. Say something nice and flirty.
Silence means different things to several men. To some it means get away from me, to others it means please hurry up and leave and yet to another it means you are boring as a lady. This is where learning how to talk dirty comes in.
You may not know how to do it but it can be learned. You can begin with simple phrases like calling out his name while in the act or even telling him what to do. You can tell him if he should go faster or slow down. All these are engaging, it tells your man you are enjoying your time with him.
Also, let him know what you want in bed. Your man is not clairvoyant magic, he cannot read your mind, if you can’t say it, do it with your actions. If he does something you like, take his hands there and tell him what to do. When you don’t speak, your man will take it to be that you are indifferent and not into him anymore.
Lack of enthusiasm and unwillingness to communicate what you want will actually turn off your man. This is one of the mistakes women make in bed. I’ve heard a male friend say that some women think all they have to do is take off their clothes while the responsibility is left to the man.
6. Not Preparing For Lovemaking
Every lady married to a man knows that sometimes lovemaking doesn’t come by surprise as it is expected. This means that your body parts should be clean, pubic hair and armpits well shaved depending on your man’s preference. The use of body sprays and perfumes can’t be overemphasized.
Scents have a way of arousing your partner and awakening his senses for lovemaking. It could act as an aphrodisiac too. Take regular baths and change underwear too.
Go to bed well-groomed and leaving no stone unturned as you do not know the time of your partner’s visitation to his garden. Some don’t set the scene for it also. Change your beddings, have some music playing in the background and turn off the lights or use dim lights. All these are ways of preparing for lovemaking.
7. Avoiding Lovemaking
I’ve seen women feign illness as a means of escape, I think it’s better to speak up and say you are not in the mood with the right reasons than feign illness.
8. Tool For Punishment
Some ladies deliberately stay away from lovemaking as a means of punishing their mate. This isn’t nice also. This is manipulation.
9. Low Self-Esteem
To add to the mix, lady you are powerful, you are beautiful and well endowed. Don’t look at your flaws, to your man you are the most beautiful woman in his world.
Don’t look at the saggy breast or flabby arms or even freckled skin. Men are indeed moved by what they see but you will be shocked to know that when in bed, your man won’t even be looking at those flaws.
Your sight may also be overexaggerating issues. Don’t let things that don’t matter erode your self-esteem. I understand that your tummy is flabby now after childbirth, it’s your trophy for being a mother.
If you keep feeling low because of your flaws, during lovemaking try distracting yourself by paying attention to your breath, inhale-exhale and focus on enjoying the moment. Don’t make your man feel you are insecure.
Unleash your inner sensual goddess and put your powers to work. Another point worthy of note is the fact that men are always ready and do not have a switch that turns them off or on for lovemaking.
One last thing, life happens and the temptation to keep your relationship on the back burner may end up putting up your relationship in flames. Try to prioritise your relationship. I mean you love your man enough to be married to him, do not let him suffer in silence or push him into the arms of another woman.
I understand that you are now a mother after being a wife and you may be surrounded by so many things, please learn to keep the fire of passion burning in your marriage and where you need help, go get it. You deserve sensual healing and satisfaction.
For those saying how about the men? There will be something for them soon. Find your little o and put it to work. Which of the mistakes women make in bed are you willing to change?
How to be more active in bed as a woman, mistakes women make while on top, bedroom mistakes women make. Have you found yourself in any example given above? Let us know in the comment section.
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