He has said the perfect words, strings of heart-melting sentences such as “I love you”, “I can live without you”, and “I need you”. However, somehow, you see in his actions that he doesn’t love you as much as he professes. His actions speak louder than his words, yet his words leave you wondering if what you see is a figment of your imagination.
If you want to find out if he is pretending to love you, then this post is your best bet. In this post on signs he pretends to love you, I have written the 13 most important ways your man might be deceiving you and making you think that he loves you.
13 Brutal Signs He Pretends To Love You
These brutal signs he pretends to love you are tips that would help you make better decisions when it’s time to walk away.
1. He Lacks An Emotional Connection With You
One of the signs that he is pretending to love you is a lack of emotional connection with you.
A man who truly loves you and wants to build something long-lasting will work on his emotional connection with you. This includes getting to know you more through conversations, seeking you out, going on dates with you, and wanting to spend time with you.
In general, because he wants to build that emotional connection, he would find every way to get closer to that goal. However, if the man you are with is not making an effort to build that connection with you, then this is one of the signs he pretends to love you.
2. He Is Not Consistent In His Show Of Affection
There is nothing as beautiful as consistency in the show of affection, such that you can always rely on them to make you feel good, special, and safe. However, if you’re with a man who blows hot and cold, showing affection only when he wants something, then this is one of the signs that he is pretending to love you.
Your man is employing the carrot-and-stick approach, making you do what he wants by dangling tidbits of his love. This is a very terrible thing, and it is one of the eye-opening signs he pretends to love you.
3. He Always Avoids Serious Talks
If he is always avoiding serious talks about the future and shows no interest in having meaningful conversations with you, then this is one of the subtle signs he pretends to love you.
When you truly love someone, you naturally want to include them in your life. However, if your partner claims to love you yet always dodges serious conversations—topics that would help you both grow as partners, discussions about your collective future, or dialogues that address your insecurities to smooth out the rough edges in the relationship—this could indicate that he doesn’t truly love you.
He might just be feigning affection because he benefits from the relationship in ways he wouldn’t if he weren’t with you.
4. He Exhibits Self-Centered Behavior
One of the very big signs that your man is self-centered and pretends to love you is that he puts himself first every time.
One of the things we do when we are in love is to put our partner’s needs first and prioritize them. Therefore, if your partner exhibits self-centered behavior, such as doing what he wants without considering your feelings, making decisions without your input, or not sharing important information about your relationship, these could be signs that he is pretending to love you and that he might never marry you.
5. He Is Excessively Critical Of You
When your partner is excessively critical of you, it’s something to watch out for. This is one of the toxic traits in a relationship that you should avoid as much as possible.
Someone who always finds negative things to complain about every time you talk is someone you don’t want to be with. He might claim to love you, but you will know if he does by his actions. Therefore, one of the signs that he pretends to love you is if he’s always criticizing your every attitude, word, and action.
6. He Keeps His Phone From You
It’s funny how people would say that they are physically intimate with their partner and yet they keep their phones away from them as though it’s a pr#vate p#rt.
One of the signs he pretends to love you is when he is keeping his phone from you. He might be doing something that would hurt you or doing something terrible. One indication of pretense is his lack of trust in whatever he is hiding, and this is one of the red flags in men that you should be wary of.
7. He Is Always Dismissing Your Concerns
One of the things a man will do if he really loves you and values you is that he will take your opinions into account or will take your concerns into account.
For example, you notice him exhibiting some sort of negative trait or doing something dangerous, you share your concerns and he dismisses your concern in a very dismissive way. This is one of the signs he pretends to love you, and it’s one of the signs you are in a toxic relationship.
8. He Is Unwilling To Compromise
There is nothing as terrible as having a partner who would never bend and who is not teachable. One of the most important signs of a good man is teachability.
Having a partner who is self-centered is one of the relationship deal-breakers that you shouldn’t tolerate. His self-centeredness is an indication that the relationship would never last long because you can only have things your way for so long before your partner starts to feel frustrated.
Having a partner who does not feel it is important to compromise or to make sacrifices in a relationship is a perfect recipe for disaster in the relationship.
9. He Is Unreasonably Possessive
When your man is unreasonably possessive, this is one of the signs he pretends to love you because there’s nothing wrong with having a partner who is protective as it just shows how valuable you are to them but there’s everything wrong with unreasonable possessiveness in which he begins to stalk you, does not give you the space to be yourself, and has an issue with you talking to other people.
This is one of the bad habits in relationships and it’s one of the signs he is pretending to love you because it’s an indication that he is controlling and not in love with you.
10. He Is Always Blame-Shifting
If something happens and your partner is always shifting blame; always saying you are the one at fault instead of taking responsibility, this is one of the signs he pretends to love you.
From experience as a marriage counselor, one of the good qualities to look out for in a man is the ability to take responsibility and know how to apologize when he is in the wrong.
A man who shifts the blame to you is an immature individual who needs to grow up and should not be in a relationship with you.
11. He Is Always Disrespecting You
One of the signs a man is pretending to love you is that he disrespects you. This is a very hurtful thing to acknowledge, but having a partner who disrespects you both in private and in public shows that he places no value on you and is not afraid to lose you, hence his poor treatment. This is one of the clear signs that it might be time to leave.
12. He Is Always Avoiding Talks Of Future Plans
When you are in a relationship and you want it to culminate in something meaningful, you should not avoid important conversations that address this concern. If he claims to love you but is not talking about future plans or marriage, then there might be a problem.
One of the signs he pretends to love you is that he is always avoiding talks about future plans.
13. He Keeps His Activities Secret
If your man is hiding things from you this is one of the terrible signs he pretends to love you.
When you are in a relationship, it is good to keep your partner abreast of things because this is what it means to be accountable. However, if your partner is going through things and is not letting you know about what is going on in his life this is one of the red flags in a relationship that you want to avoid.
What To Do If You See The Signs He Is Pretending To Love You
Notice these signs he is pretending to love you? Do your best to apply these tips to work on your relationship.
1. Trust Your Instincts
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to trust your instinct because your instinct might not always be 100% correct, but most times, it is correct. So you must trust your instinct in this context.
2. Evaluate The Relationship
Now you have trusted your instinct, the next thing to do is to look at your relationship critically and try to see if what your instinct is telling you is true.
You might have a problem with evaluating it yourself because you might be biased, this is where you can talk to a friend or see a therapist.
3. Communicate Openly
If you notice the pattern and you’ve seen that your partner does not love you or is pretending to love. One of the things you can do is to communicate openly with him and let him know how you feel.
4. Let Go
It’s very important that if he is not changing for good or he’s not making any attempt, then one of the things you can do for yourself is to let go; leave the relationship and move on with your life.
5. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are important because it is one of the things that will help you move on fast. You must do this because it will help you a lot.
6. Seek Support Or Counseling
One of the things that you can do to help you get better from the trauma is to seek support or counseling from family or a therapist. This will help you in ways than you can ever imagine.
7. Prioritize Self-Care
There are many things you can do to prioritize self-care, which will help you do a better job of healing. Take care of yourself and go find peace.
Brutal Signs He Pretends To Love You — Final Thoughts
These signs your man is pretending to love you are among the things you need to recognize to make better decisions that will help you in your relationship.
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