As they say, it is the little foxes that spoil the vine. Don’t also forget the English adage which goes, “A small leak will sink a great ship”. There are certain habits that we possess as individuals that can destroy our relationships in the long term, and this includes marriage.
These habits are character traits that we have to deal with as adults and can pose a strong danger to the health of our marriage if not taken care of.
Many marriages have been destroyed as a result of the bad habits of spouses, and as such, this is why I have written this piece on bad habits that destroy marriage.
What Are The Habits That Quickly Destroy A Marriage?
Habits that quickly destroy a marriage include lack of personal hygiene, constant criticism of the other spouse, always trying to make sure that you win the argument even when you are not in the right, disrespecting your partner, and cheating on them. These bad habits are capable of destroying a marriage in no time.
12 Bad Habits That Can Destroy Your Marriage
These bad habits that destroy marriage will help you work on yourself and be a better spouse to your significant other.
1. Failing To Communicate
Communication will always be a key aspect of marriage because it is the foundation of any relationship and is also fundamental to sustaining a relationship. Failing to communicate with your other half is one of the bad habits that destroy marriage.
Failing to communicate can be due to many reasons, such as:
- Wanting to keep things to yourself because you feel you can handle them.
- An irrational fear that your partner might judge you.
- Thinking that your partner would not understand you.
Whatever your reasons are, if your other half has not proven to be any of these, failing to communicate with your partner is an indicator of a bad habit.
The importance of communication in marriage cannot be overemphasized because it is the oil that ensures the smooth running of any relationship and it’s one of the ways to make your marriage stronger everyday.
2. Ignoring Emotional Needs
It’s very important to ensure that you are thoughtful of your partner and always seeking to know how they are doing. When you ignore the emotional needs of your significant other, you make them feel alone and this is one of the red flags to avoid in a relationship.
Neglect is one of the bad habits that can ruin your marriage especially when it comes to ignoring the emotional needs of your significant other. This is a bad habit because it can drive your partner into the arms of another person since they feel unloved, unheard, and unseen.
3. Criticizing Each Other
There is nothing wrong in criticizing your significant other but one of the toxic habits that can destroy a marriage is when you keep criticizing your partner negatively.
There is such a thing as constructive criticism which should not be often because there is a thin line between constructive criticism and negative criticism in which you are likely to make your mate feel less of themselves, talk down on your mate, insult your spouse all in the name that you are trying to correct them.
One of the things you should avoid doing is criticizing each other consistently because it makes your mate feel like they will never be able to please you and this makes them reluctant to do things for you.
Constant negative criticism is one of the red flags in relationships that you shouldn’t ignore if you are about to get into marriage.
4. Fighting To Win
One of the bad habits that destroy marriage is fighting to win. Most times, you might be right but it’s not every time you insist that you are right because always fighting to win is one of the toxic traits in a relationship.
Embodying emotional intelligence will help you learn to apologize even when you are right to restore peace to that atmosphere.
As a marriage counselor, I have seen many marriages come to nought because both spouses were fighting for their rights in marriage. There is no such thing as always being right but there are such things as stooping to conquer.
5. Being Irresponsible With Money
As a marriage counselor, I have seen amazing marriages that have been destroyed because one partner decided to be irresponsible with money due to a lack of self-discipline on their part. One of the bad habits that destroy marriage is being irresponsible with money. Ideally, this is one of the things you should work on before marriage.
When you are irresponsible with money, you destroy the trust that your partner has for you, and along with that trust, you have destroyed a certain level of respect that your partner has for you.
For example, I worked on a case in which the husband consistently invested a couple of the family’s limited funds into get-rich-quick schemes and this drove the family’s finances to point zero. This affected the trust the wife had for her husband and in no time, the wife lost interest in the marriage.
One of the bad habits that destroy marriage is financial irresponsibility because finance is a key aspect of every marriage and if you cannot prove yourself worthy in that aspect, it is likely to affect every other thing that you might have with your significant other.
6. Add#ction
Everyone wants a mate who can exercise a certain level of self-control over the pleasures the world has to offer.
For instance, a man lost his marriage. He was add#cted to p#rn and mast#rbating which began to affect the quality of his s#x life with his wife because he had unrealistic expectations of his wife in bed. The only way he could get off was by mast#rbating while imagining the unrealistic ideas in his head.
This did not only affect his marriage, it affected every other part of his life including his career, and when he came in for counseling, he was a wreck.
Add#ction is a very terrible habit that one must avoid especially as a married person because it is one of the habits that destroy marriages.
Marriage involves accountability because you understand that you are not just one individual, you have become two individuals that are expected to speak and act as one. So when you are add#cted, it affects your spouse and the quality of your marriage because add#ction to dr#gs, alcohol, women, or gambling ruins relationships.
7. Infidelity
Looking for bad habits that destroy marriage in a flash? Here is infidelity.
Infidelity is one of the most common causes of divorce among couples and if it is not worked on, it can destroy even the strongest marriages. From my experience in counseling couples, this is one of the top marriage deal breakers.
There are so many things that can lead to infidelity, this includes not understanding that as a married person, there are certain attitudes that are expected of you which include not being flirty with the opposite gender who is not your husband or your wife.
Infidelity is a very bad habit that stems from so many variables, this is a very bad habit that must be worked on at all costs. In dealing with this bad habit, you need to leave no stone unturned because what you think does not matter might end up being what you do that can destroy your marriage.
The effects of infidelity on a beautiful marriage are debilitating. They include:
- Lack of trust.
- Destruction of self-esteem.
- Destroyed channel of communication.
- Destruction of emotional intimacy.
8. Disrespect
Disrespect generally is a social vice that people do not appreciate. Disrespecting your significant other is a sign that you do not love them, you do not care for their feelings and you don’t value them.
Some people would say that what the wife needs is love and what the husband needs is respect. In contrast, no gender does not deserve respect because respect is a fundamental right of every human being regardless of their gender, age, or status.
Looking for ways to respect your mate? Here are some cute ways to treat your husband like a King.
Disrespecting your spouse is an obscure feeling that manifests in different behavioral patterns such as constantly criticizing your significant other, not being accountable to your other half, and neglecting your mate at every slight opportunity they want to talk.
Looking for bad marriage habits? Disrespect tops the list.
9. Unrealistic Expectations
You need to understand that your spouse is human no matter how perfect they may have looked the first time you met them or the perception of perfect they may have created the first time you met them. You need to understand that as you go on in your marriage with them, you will see certain flaws that will make you realize that the person you fell in love with is human.
Managing your expectations is very important because if you don’t manage your expectations, you will set a standard that your significant other will always have to try to reach and whenever they don’t attain that standard they become unworthy of your love and therefore fall short of your respect.
Unrealistic expectations from your mate is one of the bad habits that ruin marriage faster than you can ever imagine. If you fail to manage your expectations, you will begin to look outside for perfection and make your spouse think you don’t love them.
10. Harboring Resentment Towards Each Other
If you are in the habit of harboring resentment towards people that have hurt you, one good thing that you can do for yourself is to seek a therapist and work on it.
There is nothing good about harboring resentment because you will fill your heart with so much bitterness that it begins to spill into the other good things in your life including your relationships with other people.
Harboring resentment towards your other half is one of the bad habits that will destroy your marriage because resentment can make you begin to behave contrary to the person your other half fell in love with. One of the things you need to do is to learn to forgive your partner because accumulated resentment is one of the signs of a bad marriage.
11. Selfishness
Insisting on always having your way, getting what you want at the expense of your partner, and putting yourself first is one of the bad habits that impact your marriage. The ideal behavior is that both partners put each other’s needs first, that way, you leave your mate more satisfied and bring a smile to your spouse’s face.
Selfishness makes your partner feel unloved and neglected because you are not thinking of them, you are doing the things that you want to do regardless of how they feel.
12. Angry Outbursts
One of the bad habits that destroy marriage is when you engage in an angry outburst. It is not good to allow your stress levels or your anger to accumulate to a point that little things set them off and you lash out at your mate at the slightest opportunity you get.
This is a trait that you must work on to enhance the quality of your relationship. Ideally, this is one of the qualities to look out for in a potential spouse.
How To Deal With Bad Habits In A Marriage
These ways to deal with toxic habits that can destroy your marriage are the top 3 ways to work on your marriage.
1. Open Communication
To deal with the bad habits in your marriage, one of the things that you must do is to engage in open communication with your partner.
The importance of open communication is that you can express your grievances. Your partner can express why they do what they do and thus, you both can reach an understanding of how to help each other.
Also, when it comes to open communication, you both must find ways to communicate in such a way that one partner will not feel attacked but rather will feel loved, and this is why I have written this piece on healthy ways to communicate your grievance to your partner.
2. Seek Professional Help
You can never go wrong with seeking professional help. One of the things that a counselor would help with is to help you approach the root cause of the problem in a short amount of time. They know how to navigate conversations in such a way that you both can see the truth for yourself, understand it, accept it, and help you learn how to overcome it.
3. Establish Healthy Boundaries
One of the ways to destroy the bad habits that will seriously harm your marriage is to establish healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are important because it is one of the ways you can keep your partner’s excesses in check. If you set boundaries on cheating such that your partner knows the consequence of cheating on you, it is likely to deter them from cheating.
Also, if you set boundaries on being lashed out at and make your partner understand that you will not take to transferred aggression, it will make them want to work on themselves and avoid angry outbursts especially when they are angry or stressed.
Bad Habits That Can Destroy Your Marriage: Final Thoughts
These bad habits that destroy marriage are traits that I’ve seen time and time again destroy beautiful marriages and one of the things that working on them will do is help you sustain whatever beautiful thing that you have with your partner.
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