A relationship thrives on trust and without trust, it goes without saying that the relationship will hit the rocks. Trust is when you feel safe with your partner and there is the assurance your partner will not hurt you. This means that you have no qualms opening up to your partner about certain things because you know they are there to listen, support, and comfort you.
Need tips for rebuilding trust in a relationship? Worry no more. These tips on how to rebuild trust in a relationship are what I have recommended to many couples and it has helped them get back on track.
What Does It Mean To Trust Someone?
What it means to trust someone is that you feel safe with that person, and you can open up to that person without the fear of judgement or the fear of third parties being in the know without your consent.
Can You Rebuild Trust In A Relationship?
Yes! You can rebuild trust in a relationship, it is very possible to do so as long as both parties are willing to let go of the past and concentrate on the future. You can rebuild trust in a relationship if you and your partner are willing to be intentional about forgiving and moving on.
How Long Does It Take To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship?
Typically, it can take months to years to rebuild trust in a relationship. Depending on the level of trust that has been broken, rebuilding might take months or years. Trust might be rebuilt slowly but as long as it’s done with commitment, love, and intentionality, it is an indicator of growth.
Signs Of Lack Of Trust In A Relationship
There are indicators of lack of trust in a relationship and often these indicators are associated with the pillars of a relationship. They include;
- Lack of communication
- Lack of intimacy
- Lack of forgiveness
- Lake of emotional support
- Lack of commitment
- Micromanagement
- Suspicion and jealousy
9 Steps To Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship
If you earnestly want to rebuild trust in your relationship, you should follow these guidelines, they are the best tips you need to achieve rebuilding trust in your marriage or relationship.
1. Admit Your Fault
You broke the trust in your relationship or you contributed to helping your partner break the trust in the relationship. One of the effective ways on how to rebuild broken trust in a relationship is to own up to the role you have played, when you do this, you have solved your problem by half.
Admitting your faults helps you understand how badly you messed up, it is what helps you see how you can move on from that mistake you’ve made. It is also what helps your partner see that you are truly aware of the part you have played in breaking trust and makes them know that you are truly sorry.
So admitting your mistake is not a testament of weakness rather it is a testament of strength because it shows that you are willing to let go of the past and you want to move on. This is how to rebuild trust in a relationship.
To make this process seamless, here are the pointers on how to apologize and admit your fault.
2. Avoid Triggers
A trigger is the feeling you get when you encounter a familiar place, situation, or object.
One of the ways to rebuild trust in a relationship is to avoid triggers. If you are the one who broke the trust in the relationship, a trigger for your partner is something that reminds them of how you broke the trust in the relationship. For you, a trigger is something that reminds you of either the desire or the painful memories that are associated with how you broke the trust in the relationship.
An instance of avoiding triggers would be a man in a relationship who is an alcoholic. A trigger for him would be hanging out with friends who drink or simply going to a bar. If they don’t support his abstinence, he can either cut them off or avoid them.
Another instance would be a case where a woman cheats on her partner. A trigger for the man would be his woman taking pictures with random men. It is wise to avoid triggers either for the partner or for the one who has broken the trust.
3. Seek Your Partner’s Help
A relationship involves two or more people. Rebuilding trust in a relationship is not a one-man job; rather, it’s the collective effort of two people who are committed and intentional about letting go of the past and moving on. If your partner still loves you and wants to rebuild the trust in your relationship, it means you have to seek your partner’s help in areas where your strength will fail you.
One of the ways on how to rebuild trust in a relationship is by allowing your partner in on your struggles. Thinking you can do it alone is dangerous to the health of your relationship. Let your partner in on your struggles and make them understand that you are a human. In this way, they’re able to appreciate your efforts and understand you better and it makes the healing process faster and easier.
For instance, in the case where a man suffers from subst#nce ab#se, it is advisable that if he has a partner, he seeks his partner’s help. Seeking his partner’s help is important because it assures the man that he has a support system. Seeking his partner’s help also helps in combating the add#ction because his partner would help him avoid stressors or triggers.
Asking for your partner’s help is very important because it lets them into the imperfect side of you and helps them genuinely appreciate your person and your resilience.
4. Communicate Clearly
Communication is a vital aspect of any relationship. One of the signs of a lack of trust in a relationship is a lack of communication. One of the tips to rebuild trust in a relationship is to communicate clearly with your partner. Communicating clearly involves honesty and is devoid of lying or manipulation.
Communicating clearly allows your partner to see you for who you are, and see your imperfections and your strength. It gives them an idea of where they can step in to rebuild their relationship with you. Communicating clearly involves letting your partner see all there is to you and making them understand you.
Clear communication is one of the vital ways to rebuild trust in your relationship.
5. Don’t Dwell On The Past
One of the tips for rebuilding trust in a relationship is not dwelling on the past. Dwelling on the past is a sign that forgiveness has not taken place. Dwelling on the past is not how to rebuild trust in a relationship. It also increases the possibility that whoever whose trust has been broken would refer to their partner’s mistakes in the case of a little conflict.
So dwelling on the past is detrimental to rebuilding trust in your relationship because you can’t move on if you are stuck in the past. To ensure you do not dwell on the past, you need to have a conversation with your partner and you both have to decide to forgive each other and you have to forgive yourself.
6. Don’t Rush Your Partner
You can’t break your partner’s trust today and expect them to trust you tomorrow just because you said you have changed. It is impossible for this to happen except if you want to cast a spell of amnesia on them.
If you are the one who broke the trust in the relationship, you must give your partner that space and give them time to trust you again. Expecting your partner to forgive and forget instantly is not how to rebuild trust in a relationship.
This is why it is very important to admit your faults. Admitting your fault will make you see how deeply you broke the trust and this makes it easier for you to give them time to come to trust you again. You cannot and should not allocate the time in which they have to come to trust you again. It is not something you have the right to do, rather it is their prerogative.
So while you’re trying to give them time, let your actions and your voice be consistent with the change that you claim to be. At the same time, let your commitment and intentionality in changing and rebuilding trust be seen and acknowledged by your partner.
7. See A Therapist
Seeing a therapist together is a way on how to rebuild trust in a relationship. You both love each other and you want to work on the relationship, however, emotions are always running wild each time an issue is raised or there are too many clogs that make it difficult to get through. Your best bet is a therapist or a counsellor. A third party can help you and your partner see things objectively.
Seeing a therapist is vital to rebuilding the trust in your relationship because they will help you see things from each other’s perspective. A therapist helps both of you open up, and tears away all the layers to get to the root of the problem. A therapist is guaranteed to strategically steer the conversation such that it is productive.
8. Spend Time Together
Labourers do not build a house from afar, they build it together and this is the way rebuilding trust in a relationship works. Spending time together is one of the ways on how to rebuild trust in your relationship because it is in spending time together that your partner gets to see your actions, your partner gets to see you matching your voice with your actions.
Spending time helps your partner understand that you are truly remorseful and you truly want to change. Spending time together is one of the tips for restoring trust in a relationship because the channel of communication widens and your intimacy as partners deepens.
9. Be Consistent With Change
One vital way on how to rebuild trust in a relationship is consistency. You can’t say you have changed and tomorrow you have gone back to the same things you used to do, that is manipulation.
To rebuild the trust in your relationship, you must be consistent with change. If you decide you want to stop subst#nce ab#se or you want to stop being a cheat, you have to be consistent in your actions, and in your words. Consistently avoid the triggers that would make you go back on your word.
Consistency is the name of the game in rebuilding trust in a relationship. You have to be consistent till your partner sees that you have changed and can come to trust you again.
Final Notes On How To Regain Trust In A Relationship
Rather than wanting to end the relationship, if you love your partner and you believe that you can work out the relationship, rebuilding trust is vital. There are ways on how to regain trust in a relationship and they require intentionality and commitment on the side of both parties.
As they say, Rome was not built in a day. It will take time to rebuild the trust. The reward is often worth the effort because you get to deepen your love with your partner, understand and appreciate them better.
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