Sadly a few weeks into marriage, I began to feel like I married the wrong man but over time I remembered a seminar I attended years ago and it helped me scale through. I will be sharing my notes from that meeting in this post.
Bonding activities for couples involve a whole lot of things couples enjoy and can carry out together. I attended a marriage seminar years ago and the voice of the teacher still rings in my memory till date.
He started off by asking “How can you tell the married couples in a restaurant?”. It appeared strange because imagine the restaurant to be a big one, how long will it take one to go around asking if they were married or to even take a look at the finger to see who is wearing a wedding band or not.
Our teacher was lenient as he allowed every participant to think deeply as to began going from seat to seat expecting an answer. All of the sudden out of the blue a guy that looked Hispanic stoop up and said, “they don’t talk to each other”.
Then, our teacher proceeded to ask “And how do you know the couples who are dating?” another student stood up and said, “They talk to each other!”, they giggle and laugh with each other, “they look into each other’s eyes as of they can see some glitter and stars, they touch.
The class became noisy as everyone in a while had bit of ways to spot couples who were dating. It then struck me that it took minutes for us to recognise married couples and split seconds to notice dating couples.
This is because dating couples always have something to talk about while most married couples sit in silence as if they are observing that period of silence for the dead and this ought not to be.
I mean you have waited for days, weeks, months and even years to get here and now you are in, you can hardly find something to talk about. This is where couples’ problems begin in marriage which is why bonding activities for couples and romantic couple activities should be practiced regularly.
Moving from dating to marriage is usually a switch that a lot of people are yet to recognise and understand. In the dating years, you try so hard to win your partner’s validation and constant nods so you put your best foot forward and keep appearances as you depend on them for validation.
But in marriage, the switch is when you no longer need that validation because you have discovered who you are and what you mean to your partner and you can confidently say you are the one for them.
Until you move from your partner’s validation to self-validation, communication will be a problem and this is one of the biggest challenges in marriages today.
Couples have stopped talking because they feel there is nothing to talk about, little wonder couples don’t bond anymore, they don’t make love anymore instead they just want to ease that sensual urge, everything done is shallow, no connection or intimacy, it becomes mechanical.
When dating, you search for compatibility, look for areas you agree and disagree and seek for how to blend. After marriage, it appears couples now know each other so well that there is nothing to talk about and this is why bonding activities for couples is needed.
What baffles me the more is that this quietness isn’t just a warm type where all is cool and you just need space but it’s worse and couples tend to put up an ice wall that their partners will need to break through to get to them. When couples experience this, they feel the end has come, let’s go out separate ways or find other partners.
Our teacher went further to ask, why do married couples become speechless when they are together? Another responded by saying it’s because there is nothing new to talk about, they have probably heard about the childhood jokes, growing up adventures and escapades with their Ex and they have suddenly become boring.
Others assume they already know what their partners have to say. But this isn’t fair. We are building blocks on the need for intimacy because it is the bedrock for every marriage else, it will grow cold and fade out.
Intimacy involves communication and first being comfortable in your own skin. Communication isn’t just about sharing information as sometimes sharing information could lead to a huge misunderstanding.
Couples who feel like their partners don’t talk to them are not referring to sharing information but the fact that their partners exude signs of not wanting to listen to them or even share some personal details with them. You can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t love YOU, you can’t love him or her.
Communication says this is me, let me know you but silence says, I don’t want to know what’s going on in your big fat head because I have my own view and I want it my way. Without communication, no relationship will thrive. This is the starting point of building intimacy and bonding.
Intimacy doesn’t only involve loving and accepting your partner or even reciprocating love shown to you, closeness, bonding or being a caretaker only, It is understanding that you are two different individuals and consciously knowing that you are ready and willing to give yourself unreservedly to your partner.
Communication is also a part of the mix as it involves information exchange. Intimacy involves sharing that part of you that has hitherto remained unshared with your partner.
There is a point in marriage that relationship experts refer to as the gridlock. This is after the honeymoon period where reality begins to set in and couples begin to feel like they have fallen out of love. This is the state where true love comes to test.
This period brings you closer to yourself and begins to make you depend on yourself for validation instead of your partners because you are now married to them. Here you begin to draw within for strength from within.
Relationship with self begins here and this is the period couples should engage in activities that will keep them in each other’s face constantly by engaging in bonding activities for couples.
Bonding Activities For Couples
We will be looking at some bonding activities for married couples, things for couples to do at home when bored, romantic couple activities, things to do as a couple at home, and indoor activities for couples that will strengthen your bond with your partner.
1. Try Reading A Book Together
It could be a romance novel or sci-fi. Reading aloud to your partner could be lovely.
2. See A Movie Together
This could be at home or the cinemas. Get a ticket for two if outdoor or prepare homemade popcorn and drinks for an indoor experience.
3. Take A Shower
You could lather each other and help scrub also.
Taking a shower with your partner has been proven to be one of the best romantic couple activities.
4. Solve A Puzzle
I remember I and my husband used to look for a particular newspaper that had puzzles behind them. We would pile them up and solve them together over the weekend. The winner gets a gift.
5. Prepare Meals Together
6. Do Karaoke
7. Assist Each Other With House Chores
8. Cuddle And Snuggle. Who Wouldn’t Love This?
9. Play Games
One word stands out in most of the suggested bonding activities for couples above and it’s the word “together”. When couples play, it has to be together for it to be considered a bonding activity.
Doing this together will pull you into each other just in case you are facing the gridlock, it will help you find a way around it and eventually escape from its grip.
Looking for more bonding activities for married couples and fun outdoor activities for couples, keep reading!
Things For Couples To Do At Home When Bored
Things for couples to do at home when bored are romantic couple activities and indoor activities for couples that will deepen the bond you share with your partner. Below are some romantic couple activities to do at home when bored.
- Listen to music
- Dance together
- Can in a few friends for a drink
- Make love and sleep in each other’s arms
- Try out a recipe
Romantic Bonding Activities For Couples
1. Have A Picnic For Just The Two Of You
Make your favourite snacks and enjoy it together in the cool of the day.
2. Recall Memories Of How You Started
Take a look at pictures if possible, laugh at the flat tummy that is now big and the abs losing its shape. Talk about your first date, how you felt, the food, your innermost thoughts and how you perceived them to be.
3. Go On A Vacation
It doesn’t have to be for long. A night or two would be perfect, just love on each other. Express yourselves and celebrate your love for each other.
4. Have A Day In Bed Together
You can prepare for this and have a babysitter take care of the kids while you unwind and spend a full day in bed talking about each other or just simply resting on each other’s arms.
Having a day in bed together is my favourite indoor activities for couples.
5. Have A Home Spa Together
Have a home Spa together using home ingredients and finish up with a massage or neck rub.
Fun Outdoor Activities For Couples
There are some little romantic gestures you could do with your partner that will speedily improve the romance in your marriage. Below are some fun outdoor activities for couples, bonding activities for couples, and romantic couple activities.
1. Go Shopping Together
You may not necessarily buy much, you could even window shop as you hold hands.
2. Plan Your Next Future Date Together
Think up activities, places of interest and begin making arrangements and place a call for the final booking.
3. Work Out
Some couples would rather refrain from working out than doing it together. Others see it as a chore. I’ve had friends say it’s a man thing and they can’t indulge.
This is so untrue as you can include it on your list of bonding activities for couples. It could make you accountable to each other and also help you bond.
4. Accompany Your Lady To The Salon For A Hairdo And Vice Versa
Ladies, go with your man to the salon for his haircut also and make faces as his look changes. This is an amazing fun outdoor activities for couples.
5. Eat Together
Ever noticed how eating with a loved one can improve your appetite and make you eat more? Try it out.
Bonding Activities For Married Couples
Whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for decades, these bonding activities for married couples, and things to do as a couple at home will take your marriage to another level.
1. Return To Each Other
This is the very essence of this post, to return to each other. Bonding without communication is incomplete. It should involve your body, mind and even your words.
While you carry out these activities together, you could stop and gaze at your lover. Admire their looks and qualities. Tell yourself you made the right choice.
2. Play “would you rather” couples game.
3. Hide and seek.
4. Play video games or board games together.
5. Take a walk together.
6. Visit a Spa home and pamper yourself.
7. Visit a library together.
8. Visit a zoo.
9. Have a date night movie at home.
10. Scrabble love notes to each other and hide in places they are most likely to see them.
Final Notes On Bonding Activities For Couples
Marriages are on the brink of divorce not just for infidelity but for not being able to recognize the treasure in their spouse but go out looking for stones.
We have looked at a lot of things today among which includes knowing that bonding doesn’t just begin, it is worked at with little intentional steps until the goal of bonding and intimacy is achieved.
What do you think you can do to bond better with your partner? Have there been pockets of dishonesty here and there? Address it from the root, leave no stone unturned else it will return to hurt you later. After doing that, move on. Decide to love your spouse intentionally again. Dare to begin the journey of love again, don’t give up.
Have more bonding activities for couples, romantic couple activities, indoor activities for couples, things to do as a couple at home, things for couples to do at home when bored to share with me? I’d be reading in the comment section.
Till I come your way again, endeavour to try out some of the activities shared here or even create yours.
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