As couples, we should have a bedtime routine for couples that helps us relax as we drift off to dreamland.
I have heard people say you must put your phone on silent, turn off the light, have a relaxing bath, go to bed at the same time daily, try going to bed early and waking up at the same time daily and a host of other things to do.
I discovered that having my routine worked well for me. Researchers have it that having a consistent routine helps you sleep better and rest well.
But the truth is everyone differs when it comes to this as some are early birds while others are night owls, imagine these two being together as a couple, what would their couple’s bedtime routine look like?
A bedtime routine for couples also isn’t a bad idea. It should be a blend of what you used to do separately when you were single. You can then create one for yourself as a couple.
When I was single my bedtime routine included cleaning off the makeup on my face by using a cleanser and toner, next, I take a warm bath, read a book while lying in bed, say my prayers and finally put off the light.
I also have light music playing in the background while I sleep off, it was a time I looked forward to as I considered it my passage to a relaxing bedtime.
After I got married it changed a little as I had to follow my man lead, not that he asked me to but I found out that I could hardly go to bed without him and so we developed one ritual I will like to share which is “never go to bed without your spouse”. This sounds like a command right, I’m only kidding. What if your spouse doesn’t want to go to bed yet?
I remember lying in bed at night after getting intimate with my man and watching him snore loudly while my eyes remain wide open. I would feel like waking him up but with time I adjusted to making the effort to make my bedtime routine close to his so we could sleep off almost at the same time.
I discovered I used my phone a lot at night and it kept me awake long into the night. As soon as I discovered it, I committed to leaving my phone on my dressing mirror once it is 8 pm so it doesn’t excite me thereby keeping me awake for too long.
The rays of light from my phone and the beeps also made me always want to look into my phone for any new message from a buddy or even play games. It was one temptation I could hardly resist, especially going on social media and searching for what’s trendy. We will head on straight to the bedtime routine for couples.
9 Bedtime Routine For Couples
1. They Relax Together
This involves a whole lot of activities. How lovely it is to return home to the one you love?
You meet each other at the door with a mind-blowing kiss, you take a shower together if possible, have dinner together also and then return to the sitting room to watch a news broadcast or see a movie together. How heavenly this is?
At this point, you don’t think of anything else but your spouse, you tune out the world, shut down your computer, put your phone on airplane mode or silence and out away every distraction as you get ready to retire to bed.
This is one couples night routine that is great, you may not always have a perfect evening and things may not always be the same, some nights will always be different from others and then instead of seeing a movie, you could opt for another activity entirely.
2. They Engage In Deep Conversations
After a hard day’s job, couples retire to their various homes to connect with their spouses. Discussions take place ranging from general talks to deeper conversations.
Just in case you are wondering, what do married couples do in bed, this is one of the bedtime routine for couples. Let’s have a peek into some discussions that happen between couples at night in bed.
- How was work?
- How did your day go?
- What did you have for lunch?
- Did you have any meetings today and for how long did it last?
- Hope your colleagues didn’t get on your nerves?
These are general talks, more like conversation starters which lead to some more intimate talks like, I missed you and then I love you. I could not stop thinking about you all day and many more expressions of love.
3. They Touch Each Other
What else should happen between couples in bed if not to touch each other? Lying close to each other, touching your faces or even allowing your feet to rub each other brings a spark of connection, lying in each other’s arms says you are here with me and I feel safe being here.
Lying in the bosom of your spouse feels like the safest place anyone can be. It could begin with a massage to ease off stress and make you lighter, hugs and kisses and some foreplay which could end up in lovemaking.
I had the habit of sleeping with my face to the wall while I was single as it helped me fall asleep easily and after settling in with my man, it became difficult sleeping differently.
My man felt I was angry or didn’t care about him but over time I consciously made the effort to change. Not everyone can sleep comfortably in the arms of their lover but you can have some body contact to reassure your partner that being with them feels like home and it’s the best place to be.
4. Try Going To Bed With Your Spouse
I agree that this may not always be feasible because of different schedules and personal bedtime routines of couples but you can give it a trial. This does not necessarily mean that you must fall asleep at the same time, but being in bed together is a great idea.
With time you will look forward to having those times together and work towards achieving this activity of going to bed together. This helps you get close as you talk about each other and connect deeply.
5. Avoid Bringing Up Talks That Could Lead To Bed Fights
While it’s healthy to engage in pillow talk with your spouse in bed at night as part of your bedtime routine for couples it is also pertinent to note that there are subjects that should be avoided at bedtime as it could only lead to arguments, anger and accusations that may take a sleep from your eyes and go to bed angry.
I heard it said over and over again that it is not good for couples to go to bed angry at each other. Instead, bedtime could be a time to settle scores by saying I’m sorry and not trying to replay unhappy events that occurred earlier in the day and trying to justify oneself.
It would distort your sleep and make you feel weak when you wake up in the morning, the sad event of the night may spill into the next day if you are not an emotionally intelligent couple it could lead to malice and even the silent treatment which is not healthy for your love relationship.
6. Steal A Kiss
Every night may not be lovemaking night but it could be a night for kisses and cuddles, warm hugs and possibly settings before a ride to dreamland comes.
One bedtime routine for couples I love so much is this. Regardless of your sleeping positions, never let a night go without catching a kiss that says you mean the whole world to me from your spouse.
7. They Turn Down The Knob On Life Noise
This happens when couples decide to intentionally leave everything around them so they could focus on themselves. It includes switching off or turning your phone on airplane mode or complete silence. They also put off their computers as there will always be the temptation to continue office work while at home.
Some couples have television sets in their rooms, I agree that not all couples can resist the temptation of putting on their television set but happy couples who are intentional about their relationship will not always leave it on always as it could be a big distraction that makes them focus on the world while they forget themselves.
Researchers advise that couples should put off the TV an hour or more before bedtime so they can connect and possibly sleep well and appear fully rested in the morning.
8. Have A Routine
Researchers have it that following a particular routine daily makes your brain adjust to it and your body follows through by falling asleep the moment you begin any of such activities.
For Mary and Ben, their bedtime routine was to always go to bed together, the moment they hit the bed, they never find it difficult to fall asleep because they have spent their time in the living room beginning their routine and coming to bed meant it was bedtime.
You could work toward developing one with your partner and sticking to it. It may not be easy but you can begin by trying it out twice or thrice in a week.
9. They Put Their Kids To Sleep Early
One of the bedtime routine for couples includes making the kids sleep early. Happy couples know that for them to connect freely, the kids have to be put to sleep early. You can develop your bedtime ritual around them too but focusing on the first and then later turn to your spouse.
A bedroom is a place for intimacy and kids should not be allowed to sleep in except they are sick (so parents can monitor them) or experience nightmares.
I’ve heard couples been caught pants down with their spouses. This isn’t a good sight for kids as it may be hard for them to process and it may leave an impact on them that may not be good.
Couples shouldn’t allow kids to engage in activities that will excite them at night thereby keeping them awake for longer than normal.
Remember the saying early to bed, early to rise. When the kids are allowed to sleep late, it not only affects them but their parents too as their intimacy time and hours of sleep may be reduced and they will wake up late looking stressed.
Some of the activities that you should allow for your kids at night include watching cartoons as some may make them have nightmares or even make them overexcited thereby taking sleep from their eyes.
Final Notes On Bedtime Routine For Couples
What are you thinking presently? Don’t you think it will be a great idea to work at having a bedtime routine for couples that will help you bond and get more connected to your spouse?
There are a whole lot of bedtime activities for couples and couples night routine that you can engage in with your spouse which can also include dressing in a steamy manner before your bedtime ritual commences.
You could slip on hot lingerie and pretend like you have no plans for getting intimate while you keep flaunting your assets before your man. This is how to surprise your husband at night.
While you are considering having your own couples night routine, you need to speak with your partner and agree on certain things you can do together at night to prepare you for bedtime.
You could begin with any listed in this blog post and use it in a way that works for you. What matters is you and your partner, as long as it’s comfortable for you, then you are good to go.
Let me see your idea of what a couple’s bedtime ritual, what do married couples do at night and things to do with your spouse should look like in the comments section.
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