How to strengthen your marriage? Have you ever wondered what your marriage will look like on your 20th anniversary? If you are way past this milestone, how about another 3 decades down the lane?
Ever wondered how you would be looking physically? How will you and your spouse look together? more or fewer pounds? Bald or grey hair? Fine lines or wrinkles? If you can change this much physically, how about your relationship with your spouse?
Will you still be happily enjoying your initial connection with them or will you turn into strangers sharing space?
You know sometimes it looks like forever when you tie the knot and sign the dotted lines but before you realise it, even forever doesn’t seem like long enough because you discover you are on a roller coaster that seems like it will never end because reality has set in.
Kids are here, your career may change or come to a halt, your finance goes under pressure and if care isn’t taken there is a possibility of falling part with your spouse to catch up with life. For couples who cannot manage issues properly, a great divide may come between them and they begin to operate in default mode and settle into a routine.
In this mode, you begin to concentrate on yourself or even turn your attention to the kids, you get stuck in a rut, misunderstandings come repeatedly and because you are on default mode, you don’t make any effort to resolve the issue or understand why these misunderstandings occur in the first place.
Instead, you assume that is the nature of your spouse and before you realise it, the divide between you and your partner increases. This is a wrong path to thread, it is laced with a lot of sleepless nights and heartaches.
Couples find themselves here because they expect their marriages to adjust to automatic mode on their own, forgetting that like a garden time has to be allotted to tending, pruning and even watering the relationship else weeds will take over and could lead to the death of the bond you both share.
How To Strengthen Your Marriage
Relationships need to be worked on not sparingly but intentionally. You can save yourself the heartache by discovering how to strengthen your marriage with some happy marriage tips that will spice your relationship. Let’s look at a few ways to strengthen your marriage, tips to improve marriage, and how to strengthen your marriage bond.
1. Get Out Of Default Mode
If you are not in default mode already please endeavour not to get there and if you are there be intentional about getting out of it. There are new ways to doing things, it just has to be twisted a little with some effort of love. The first place to begin if you sense you are stuck in a rut is to admit it. Don’t try to cover or paint it.
Speak to your spouse about it and to do this, you do not need to put it forth as an accusation, instead say, I long for the days we just got married, I miss that day, whatever happened to us? Then ask your mate how you can both salvage the situation and where you feel this is your fault, apologize and commit to making things right.
Make a daily effort to look at your relationship and seek ways you can further strengthen your home by doing any of the tips that will be shared shortly.
2. Speak Words Of Love
How do you express your love to your partner? What kind of words do you like to hear from them? Have you tried using the same endearing words on your spouse? What words do you like to hear from your spouse?
Words can be damaging and at the same time soothing. I’ve heard ladies say they would prefer being beaten than spoken to in a rough manner (please note that I don’t support such in any way).
Most times in marriage, words have been used as a weapon of mass destruction against each other but when used properly, they could heal, mend, encourage, project love and affirmations. These will in turn strengthen your marriage and help you build intimacy. It’s not news that in most cases, women tend to be more vocal than men.
I’ve discovered that most times women always have words to express themselves but some men struggle to find the right words to say and in this period of silence they are considered weak and not man enough, I’m not making excuses for the men but I’ve noticed this in several relationships. This calls for patience to allow them to express themselves.
One magic word that can light up the tunnel in relationships when used genuinely is “I love you” another like it is “I’m sorry”. Want to know how to strengthen your marriage, let these words not be scare of you.
Sometimes it may not be convenient but say it until it becomes a part of you that even when there’s a misunderstanding, it will come out of your lips even unintentionally and change the course of events. Some other words of endearments you can use include I miss you, I can’t do without you, I can’t wait to see you and a lot more.
Endeavour to take out time to sit still, write out some endearing words you enjoy hearing or you have heard couples use for each other and share them with your spouse.
There is nothing to be ashamed of here. Also, try to be more of an encourager than one who is given criticism, it will erode your partner’s self-esteem and confidence.
Allow them to be themselves and you will be happy you did as they will keep coming to you even when they miss the mark, knowing you won’t put them down but you will remain their cheerleader who believes in them and would stop at nothing to see them excel.
Your words will either make your relationship sail through or sink. What you say to your partner and how you say it matters a lot. Speak words of love always, even if you have to address salient issues and mean them, let your words be laced with love.
3. Have Some Fun
You are not old yet and even if you are, there are several fun ways to make yourself and your spouse happy. Your life doesn’t always have to be about work, let some fun spice up your relationship, it won’t hurt.
Ever imagined how great a date night would look like? You getting dressed for the occasion, your menu, the giggles and laughter and your ride home and how the night will end up under warm covers.
You don’t have to be restricted to having a nice dinner at a restaurant only, you could go see a movie while you snuggle and cuddle, go see a live band play, or just a simple night out to the park, star gazing and watching multiple-night light rock the atmosphere and fire up your senses.
While it has to be fun, don’t forget you are creating memories too. Try working your partner’s likes into the outing. Consider their temperaments and let them know your plans.
Make plans together and get inputs from them on how your ideal date night should look like. Be adventurous and creative, if you don’t enjoy this night out, you can work towards the next, with time you will find yourself adjusting to your partner’s preferences and vice versa.
You may not always want the same things but you can enjoy each other’s company and seeing their faces light up with delight and pure joy will make you satisfied and happy also. This is a great opportunity to fall in love over and over again with your spouse as you reminisce on your first date night.
Don’t forget to laugh out loud when you need to and not suppress your feelings when you attend a comedy show. Enjoy the show. Laughter is good medicine and a preventive measure for several diseases.
Laughing with your spouse will be fun too. It will help you connect better, forgive easily and forget your pain. Be intentional about creating an environment to share some good laughs. Watch comedy or sitcoms and enjoy them. Life is hard already don’t make it difficult, let out some good laughter. This is how to strengthen your marriage too.
4. Commit To Spending Time Together
You may be thinking about how this will ever work but you have to sit and consider that time spent doing any of the following activities I will list below can be used to learn how to strengthen your marriage.
For example, if you have time to watch television, take up extra house at work doing overtime, go hang out with buddies, going to the gym, playing games or even taking some hours off to rest, then I put it to you that you can spend these times with your spouse and one beautiful thing about this is that you can still carry out these activities in the company of your spouse, how about that? Makes so much sense.
I say this because nothing is as important to you as your relationship with your spouse. You can surprise your partner today by engaging in any of the above activities with them.
Spending quality time with your partner is one of the best ways to strengthen your marriage.
5. Get Intimate
This cannot be overemphasised as a marriage without sensual intimacy is a loveless one, there are no two ways about it. Being sensually connected to your spouse is also how to strengthen your marriage.
6. Forgive Easily
Misunderstandings will always arise as you both are not perfect, your ability to forgive will go a long way in showing you how to strengthen your marriage or destroy it. Learn to forgive in advance even before your spouse apologize as this is one of the ways to improve your marriage.
Final Thoughts On Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage
I believed you’ve enjoyed this wonderful ride on how to strengthen your marriage, ways to strengthen your marriage, tips to improve marriage, ways to improve your marriage, and how to strengthen your marriage bond.
What are your plans going forward? Any more comments on how to strengthen your marriage? These are just a springboard to so many more.
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