Obsessing over someone means you are constantly preoccupied with thoughts about that person to such an extent that you have little room for anything else in your mind.
Thinking about someone occasionally or even frequently isn’t necessarily obsessive. You might find yourself analyzing every interaction, replaying conversations in your head, and imagining scenarios that may never come to fruition. This fixation can lead to negative behavioral traits that can consume your life and make you feel powerless.
I have seen people come for counseling because they became obsessed with their partner, and when the relationship ended, they could not let go. Having worked with these individuals, I have helped them move on. For this reason, I have decided to write this blog post on how to stop obsessing over someone to help others get better.
What Is Obsessive Love Disorder?
Obsessive Love Disorder is a condition in which an individual becomes fixated on someone to an unhealthy degree. It goes beyond typical romantic interest and can lead to intrusive thoughts, intense jealousy, and controlling behaviors that might end up being one of the signs of a toxic relationship.
4 Glaring Signs Of Being Obsessed With Someone
These signs of being obsessed with someone are what you need to check yourself and know where you stand.
1. Constant Thoughts
If you find yourself unable to stop thinking about someone and constantly replaying interactions in your head, or imagining future scenarios with them, this could indicate an obsession.
2. Excessive Contact
When you are constantly texting, calling, or seeking out a person, even when it’s not reciprocated or appropriate, this is a sign of obsession. This behavior often makes you unable to respect people’s boundaries and is one of the common relationship deal-breakers.
3. Stalking Behavior
When you go from innocently checking their social media profiles multiple times a day to physically following them or showing up uninvited at places they frequent. This indicates serious signs of obsession.
4. Neglecting Responsibilities
When obsession takes over, it can lead to neglecting important aspects of your life such as work, school, or personal relationships. You might find yourself prioritizing thoughts of the person over your responsibilities, which can have detrimental effects on your overall well-being.
14 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Someone
Struggling to get someone off your mind? Obsessive thoughts can be overwhelming, but there are effective strategies to break the cycle.
From redirecting your focus to practicing self-care, we’ll explore 14 ways to help you regain control and move forward with positivity and strength. Let’s dive into these practical steps to stop obsessing and start living more fully.
1. Limit Contact With Them
One of the tips to stop being obsessed with someone is to restrict communication and interaction with the person you’re obsessing over.
By doing this, you create a necessary boundary to break the cycle of obsession. This provides you with the mental space needed to refocus your attention on other aspects of your life. This distance allows you to gradually rid yourself of the constant thoughts and emotional ties you might have developed with that person, enabling you to rediscover your passions and identity.
2. Remove Reminders Of Them From Your Environment
The second way on how to stop obsessing over someone is to remove reminders of the person you are trying to forget. Surrounding yourself with reminders only encourages those obsessive thoughts and emotions.
By consciously removing these triggers from your environment—whether they are physical objects like pictures, digital reminders, or even places associated with them—you are actively taking steps to minimize the triggers that make you think about them.
This creates a more conducive environment for your mental clarity and emotional healing, allowing you to gradually free yourself from the destructive grip of obsession and learn to forget that person you love deeply.
3. Stay Busy With Activities And Hobbies
Immersing yourself in activities and hobbies is a good way to get rid of your obsession because activities and hobbies provide a channel for your time and energy, effectively helping you divert your focus away from the person you’re obsessing over.
Whether it’s pursuing a long-neglected passion, exploring new interests, or simply staying productive with daily tasks, keeping yourself busy helps you occupy your mind and prevent it from dwelling on thoughts of the individual you are trying to stop obsessing over.
One of the ways on how to stop obsessing over someone is to engage in fulfilling activities that help you build that confidence and sense of control over your life.
4. Focus On Self-Improvement And Personal Goals
Redirecting your attention toward self-improvement and personal goals empowers you to invest in your development and fulfillment. By setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) objectives and working towards them, you shift the focus of your energy from outward to inward.
Focusing on self-improvement and your personal goals helps you have a sense of purpose and reinforces the notion that your worth and happiness are not solely dependent on your relationship with others.
By prioritizing your own goals, you reclaim control over your life and identity, thus giving you power over yourself.
5. Practice Mindfulness And Meditation To Control Your Thoughts
In my many years of counseling, I have discovered that mindfulness and meditation techniques are powerful tools for managing the intrusive thoughts and emotions associated with obsession.
The importance of practicing mindfulness to control your thoughts cannot be overemphasized.
By cultivating mindfulness, you create present-moment awareness. This skill helps you develop the ability to observe your thoughts without becoming entangled in them. This allows you to create distance from obsessive thinking patterns that are dangerous for you, cut them off, and cultivate a greater sense of clarity and inner calm.
Through regular practice, you strengthen your capacity to redirect your attention and regulate your emotional responses to things associated with the person you are trying to stop obsessing over, thus enabling you to navigate challenging emotions with greater ease and resilience.
6. Seek Support From Friends Or A Therapist
Bad habits thrive in secrecy, one of the ways on how to get over an obsession with someone is to open up to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. By doing this, you give yourself the chance to receive invaluable emotional support during times of obsession.
Sharing your experiences and feelings with others not only validates your own emotions but also allows you to gain insight and guidance from different viewpoints.
The beauty of opening up is that friends and loved ones can offer empathy, encouragement, and practical advice, helping you feel less isolated and overwhelmed by your struggles.
Also, a therapist can provide professional guidance and therapeutic techniques to address underlying issues contributing to the obsession, fostering a more wholesome emotional healing process in a safe and supportive environment.
7. Redirect Your Attention To Other People Or Interests
When you diversify your social connections and interests, it helps broaden your perspective and reduce your fixation on the individual you are trying to stop obsessing over. One of the ways on how to stop being obsessive in a relationship is to redirect your attention to new things.
Investing time and energy in nurturing relationships with new and old friends, family members, or colleagues cultivates a support network that offers alternative sources of validation and fulfillment.
Also, exploring new hobbies, passions, or activities introduces fresh sources of enjoyment and meaning into your life, helping you develop a sense of purpose beyond the confines of your obsessive relationship with that person.
One of the beauties of redirecting your interests is that you begin to discover the beauty in other people, which will help you achieve growth in the ways that matter.
8. Challenge Unrealistic Beliefs About The Person Or The Relationship
One of the ways to stop obsessing over someone is to challenge unrealistic beliefs about the person or the relationship. Asking questions about your idealized perceptions and beliefs about that person or the relationship is essential for gaining clarity and perspective.
By critically examining your assumptions and expectations, you can discern between fantasy and reality, thus helping you to separate exaggerated perceptions of them in your mind from their genuine qualities and dynamics.
This process of introspection and self-reflection helps you get rid of illusions and misconceptions that contribute to obsession, allowing you to develop a more balanced and realistic understanding of your relationship with the object of your obsession.
When you confront unrealistic beliefs with evidence-based reasoning and alternative perspectives, you help yourself break free from the grip of obsession and cultivate healthier attitudes and boundaries moving forward.
9. Set Boundaries To Prevent Yourself From Indulging In Obsessive Behaviors
Setting boundaries to prevent yourself from indulging in obsessive behaviors is one way to stop obsessing over someone. When you establish clear boundaries, you help safeguard your well-being and maintain healthy relationships.
By setting clear boundaries for yourself, you restrict behaviors such as excessive communication, checking social media, or dwelling on thoughts of the person. Enforcing these boundaries helps reinforce self-discipline and self-respect.
Clear boundaries communicate your needs and expectations, both to yourself and to others, which assists in addressing your obsession and reduces the likelihood of engaging in compulsive or self-destructive behaviors that fuel obsession.
By honoring your boundaries and prioritizing self-care, you demonstrate control over your actions and emotions, reflecting personal growth.
10. Engage In Physical Exercise To Reduce Stress And Boost Mood
Engaging in physical exercise to reduce stress and boost mood is one of the ways on how to stop obsessing over someone.
Physical exercise offers several benefits for your mental and emotional well-being, making it an effective strategy for managing obsession.
Regular exercise releases endorphins and dopamine, which act as natural mood lifters, reducing stress and promoting a sense of well-being. Additionally, physical activity serves as a healthy outlet for pent-up energy and tension.
11. Journaling To Express And Process Your Emotions
Journaling serves as a therapeutic outlet for expressing and processing the complex emotions associated with obsession and is one of the ways to stop obsessing over someone.
In my many years of counseling, I have used journaling to help my clients confront the reality of themselves and who they are. By putting pen to paper, you externalize your thoughts and feelings, providing a tangible means of self-expression and reflection.
Writing allows you to explore the root causes and triggers of obsession, uncovering underlying patterns and insights that may be difficult to discern otherwise.
When you write or journal, you reach into the deep recesses of your mind and record what is going on there. Going back to your writing helps you adopt the persona of an observer and enables you to see things as they are.
12. Establish A Routine To Create Structure And Stability In Your Life
One of the ways to stop obsessing over someone is to establish a consistent structure that you can stick to. This will help reduce disorder, which can easily send you back into the cycle of obsession.
By scheduling regular activities, tasks, and self-care practices, you create a sense of predictability and control over your environment, thus reducing feelings that may overwhelm you and leave you disoriented.
A structured routine makes you more disciplined and holds you accountable for promoting healthy habits and distractions that prevent obsessive thoughts and behaviors.
Whether it involves waking up at the same time each day, scheduling meals and exercise, or setting aside time for relaxation and leisure, establishing a routine cultivates a sense of stability and self-regulation that can give you a sense of control and purpose in your life.
13. Give Yourself Time To Heal And Be Patient With The Process
It is very important to note that healing from an obsession is a gradual process that requires patience.
It’s natural to experience setbacks on your journey to recovery, which makes it even more important to be patient and forgiving with yourself during these times. By giving yourself the time and space to heal, you acknowledge the complexity of your emotions and respect your process.
Regarding how to stop being obsessed with someone, your best bet is to take your time.
14. Know You Are Worthy Of Love
One of the ways on how to stop obsessing over someone is to remind yourself of your inherent worth and that you are deserving of reciprocated love.
Regardless of external relationships or validation from others, you must recognize your intrinsic value because this is useful in boosting your self-esteem and self-acceptance.
By internalizing the belief that you are worthy of love, you cultivate a deep sense of self-love and self-respect that serves as a foundation for healthy relationships and will help you learn to let go of the person you love.
Final Words On How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone
These things to do to stop obsessing over someone will help to become that person who can look back on their past and smile with achievement. By implementing these steps, your journey to a better you begins here and now.
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