Is your marriage painful right now and you have a hunch that it could heal and get better? or you’re pondering how to get your marriage back on track?
Maybe your marriage is doing better than it has in a long time and you intend to keep it that way or you want to experience love and stop some kind of drama from taking place continuously in your marriage? Then come with us so we can have a beautiful conversation on how to make your marriage a priority.
Many couples have given up on having and enjoying a lasting marriage but I put it to you that it is possible if you can put your heart into it.
Want to know how to get your marriage back on track or how to rekindle your marriage? Then there are a few things to consider but there’s a beginning point. Let’s explore it together.
How To Get Your Marriage Back On Track
Have you thought about the state of your marriage? If yes, what have you discovered? Of truth, you know all is not well because if you have to think deeply to say if you are enjoying your marriage or not then it means your marriage is out of track.
Secondly, what have you done to contribute to the situation you are in? I call this self-appraisal, in all of the drama currently going on in your marriage, there would be something you should have done or should not have done, so before trading blames, look into the mirror and start with who you see in it first.
To begin with, let’s do some troubleshooting. Is your husband having an affair, is he finding it difficult to put his cassava in storage or is he a narcissist?
I don’t have all the answers but I want to tell you not to give up, regardless of what hurt you are experiencing, you can learn how to bring back intimacy in a marriage.
How To Rekindle Your Marriage
It’s normal for our relationships to experience some downturn sometimes but remaining there Isn’t healthy. Let’s take a look at how to get your marriage back on track, how to rekindle your marriage, and ways to rekindle your marriage.
1. Have You Allowed A Third Party Into Your Marriage?
Remember, at the beginning of this post we started by taking a good look at ourselves and we discovered our involvement in the drama we have been experiencing. Now it’s time to go deeper.
Have you been stressed lately, possibly your job, trying to take care of the kids, extended family engagements? It’s a very long list but I’m sure you have an idea of what I’m driving at. Some of these could be life-draining if we don’t handle them properly.
To recognize those things contributing to the happenings in your relationship with your partner. And the truth is that the moment we are stressed, we may not give our best to our partner and also treat them especially like we should.
Sometimes these can affect us emotionally and make us overreact and cause a drift in our emotions towards our partners. Now that you are aware, you can tailor your activities and prepare your mind to respond to your partner healthily.
You will learn when to speak and what to say when you are tensed, stressed or even angry. By doing this you will manage the situation and not transfer your aggression to your partner. Isolate your partner from what’s causing the stress and deal with it.
On the other hand, you will recognise how your partner behaves when you are stressed, that way you will be better prepared to handle him appropriately.
Is it a family member that is causing the stress? Then talk it out with your partner in a calm manner and handle it maturely.
Remember the aim is to seek peace and not vengeance. You can decide to work on yourself and become more emotionally intelligent so that not everything they do will get to you.
Note that the only person you can control is yourself. This means you can’t control how the other person behaves to you but you can control your response.
I’m not by any means saying you should allow inappropriate behaviour, I’m only saying knowing this will help you adjust to responding healthily and not lose yourself.
2. Have A Dialogue With Your Partner
This part can be skipped but I recommend it because your partner may be seeing things differently while you sulk and slip into depression gradually.
A male friend of mine once mentioned to me that he doesn’t feel fulfilled in his marriage but his wife feels differently.
When I probed further to ask why he felt that way, he said his wife has never given him a gift in their over 10 years of marriage, she has never sent a love text message or note to him and something deep on his inside keeps telling him she’s pretending to enjoy the marriage when she’s not.
I advised him to have a dialogue and when he did, he discovered she was enjoying the time of her life with him, but he was seeing things differently.
Another friend of mine has the same story as above but his dialogue with his wife ended on a sad note.
When he called for a dialogue, his wife flared up and said she realised he was still in line with his late wife and because of that nothing she did ever caught his attention. He ended up apologizing but it was too late as she moved out of the house immediately after the dialogue.
This is part of the reasons why I advise couples to talk about anything and everything. You don’t assume things that actions and thoughts may not match sometimes.
People are dealing with a lot of personal issues and you will be thinking they are avoiding you or trying to pick a fight with you. It’s good for couples to be on the same page in a relationship and dialogue is a simple tip on ways to rekindle your marriage.
Tell your partner how you feel, don’t accuse them, state your thoughts and let them know you are trying to see if you are on the same page so you don’t see number 9 while they are seeing number 6.
3. Apologise
This is something you two should do often. Some people don’t know how to apologise, they say sorry but don’t mean it.
Talk to each other about where you have misunderstood each other and determine to make it right. There’s no point trading blames or trying to be on the defensive, apologize and move on.
Want to know how to get your marriage back on track, or how to rekindle your marriage? Apologise to your partner.
4. Work Towards Getting Intimate Again
Intimacy and forming a strong bond comes in when we interact with our partner a lot. It bothers on how much of ourselves we can share with them. To do this there are a lot of things you can do like touching each other often. It could be a pat on the back, a massage, holding hands or even a hug.
It can be comforting and relaxing when you are In the arms of your lover. You share space with them physically, let them also share space in the deepest part of you.
You can kiss each other, touch each other with your foot while you are dining out or even snuggle while you watch romantic movies together.
These little acts could be an additional glue to your relationship and help keep you together. They are simple and can be practised without batting an eyelid.
Remember the little things you did together in your dating years, you can revisit them and bring them into your marriage again. This is how to get your marriage back on track.
5. Make Love Often
Know a few couples who have resorted to having separate bedrooms.
I’m not talking of those who have separate bedrooms by name just so that they can have their closets and not encroach on each other’s space but I’m referring to those who have left their marital beds and decide to stay in separate rooms to avoid being touched by their partners.
This is already the beginning of the end of that marriage. Making love to your partner may not always be hot and spicy but it can be engaging and rewarding especially when you both are in love.
Endeavour to keep at it, make it regular else once you lose touch with each other it may be difficult getting it back together again. Talk about what pleasures you and find out what your partner likes and work towards doing them for each other.
This is how to bring back intimacy in a marriage.
6. Carry Out Some Couples Activities Together
There is always a meeting point for couples. Even if you don’t have common interests, there are some things you will enjoy doing together.
You can decide to watch TV together, either a romantic comedy or even football. Where you have separate interests, you can develop a likeness for your partner’s activity and begin to enjoy it together.
Now assisting your partner with house chores is great but we are talking about fun activities you can carry out together and enjoy like dancing together, singing, camping or even having a picnic, just do it.
7. Evaluate Your Relationship Together
This is different from the dialogue we looked at initially. This is about learning to understand your partner. Find out their love language and also get into their head to find out what they like and dislike.
It’s possible the last time you had this discussion was when you were both single and newlyweds but times have changed now, you are older and possibly wiser, you are in a new environment with kids and maybe a change of job.
Things are a lot more different now and you may have some catching up to do with each other temperaments and response to issues. The aim is to discover how to make each other happy and do away with assumptions.
8. Be Vulnerable
I used to be part of a group where we got together to encourage one another with our life goals.
We were signed in by a life coach and we had this class of about 10 people. Our first lesson after getting to know each other’s names and what we do was to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is being open to each other.
In this class, we went a little into our private lives and spoke freely without judgement. It was like a decluttering class and in the process we discovered that quite a number of us in that group were stuck in our lives because some were going through a hard divorce, had no jobs or even had lost hope.
Firn that moment on, we all got support from each other and some days later, we began hitting and pursuing our goals aggressively.
I wasn’t surprised when we began celebrating several wins, a relationship coach emerged from that group, a big-time business guru came up and somehow we all began to do well. Why did I share? How to get your marriage back on track requires that you become vulnerable with your partner.
Who else should know you better than your partner? Open up and let your partner know your flaws. Be open about your weaknesses and your strengths. Ask for help where you need to.
If yours is a weakness with the opposite gender, say it and let your partner help you establish boundaries that will help you stay without cheating on them.
The more open you are the closer you will get with your partner and the more care and affection you will get as it will help you understand them better, their pain, struggle, insecurities and even mental strength.
Emotions you never knew existed in you would come out as you will be more empathetic towards them and understand their frailty as no one is perfect.
Some couples are scared to open up because they don’t know the kind of reaction to expect from their partners but I encourage someone to open up and you will be shocked at how your partner will follow suit it may not be easy for you but remember that you are interested in how to get your marriage back on track, then you go first, take a step after another.
9. Take Your Partner The Way They Are
You now know their strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has got one, no one is an angel nor is anyone a robot. Focus on your partner’s strengths and it will get bigger, do the same on their weaknesses and it will get bigger. Which would you focus on?
Mistakes are common to man and there is usually a time of ignorance but as you become aware you begin to know the good from the bad and the right from the wrong, that way you can make better choices.
You may not always agree but don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, never hold a grudge because of an action not carried out correctly, instead teach in love.
You have not been able to master your imperfections also so don’t expect much from them. Manage your expectations and come to terms with the fact that they are human and are prone to mistakes.
Imagine how you want to be treated if you were to be in their shoes then treat them that way, it’s easier to judge when you are not in the spotlight, turn things around and you will see things differently. Don’t expect them to always be right. Allow them to make mistakes. This is how to get your marriage back on track.
10. Look Into The Future With Hope
Let bygones be bygones. You have come through many waters, valleys and hills, determine to experience better days together. Your partner once cheated, forget it. He once hit you, let it go. She called you names, let it go.
You have come too far despite the hurdles you have gone through together to now want to remain separate. Begin to imagine better ways on how to get your marriage back on track and follow it through.
Final Thoughts On How To Get Your Marriage Back On Track
You are a sweet couple, you will make each other laugh as much as you will make each other cry therefore focus on the good times and pay little or no attention to the bad times you have won victories together. give them some credit for it.
Celebrate your wins more than your losses and determine to get better as the day goes by. Don’t rush the process, take it easy and you will get good results eventually.
Prioritise each other above anything else and listen actively to each other. Got any more tips on how to get your marriage back on track, how to rekindle your marriage, how to bring back intimacy in a marriage, and ways to get your marriage back on track, kindly share them with me.
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