As the saying goes, first impressions matter. So also the impression made on a first date is very important. This is why, on the first date, it is always best to bring on your A-game to present yourself in the best light as much as possible. This does not mean you should pretend to be who you are not; rather, you should be yourself in the most positive way you can present.
Given this, it’s off-putting that you go on a first date and there are certain traits that your date displays that do not sit well with you. However, if you are unsure whether these are red flags that you should never ignore on a first date, and you find yourself confused and wanting to know more, then reading this post on first-date red flags is for you.
What Are Some Subtle Red Flags On A First Date?
Some subtle red flags on a first date include a lack of interest in your life, rudeness or disrespect towards you, underhanded comments about you, disregard for your opinions, and rudeness to the service staff. These are huge red flags you should never ignore on a first date.
17 Huge Red Flags You Should Never Ignore On A First Date
This is a list of first date red flags you should never ignore on a first date. You must look out for these red flags on a first date because they are very important in helping you decide if you want to keep seeing them or not.
1. Rudeness Or Disrespect
Rudeness or disrespect is one of the first date red flags you should never ignore on a first date.
When somebody who is just meeting you for the first time physically is rude to you, this is a testament to their bad manners or their bad social etiquette. Courtesy demands that an individual respect everyone around him either small or great until proven otherwise.
So if your date is rude to you by either snapping at you or not apologizing for being late, this is proof they won’t fare much better in a relationship.
2. Excessive Phone Use
You are on a date and the purpose of the date is to get to know each other more and see where it goes. If the person you’re on a date with is excessively using their phone, texting, and excusing himself to take calls without even trying to pay attention to you then this is one of the biggest first date red flags.
Their attitude is an indicator that they are not even interested in knowing you, they are there for something else which does not necessarily respect your person.
3. Constant Talk About EX
You both have just met for the first time in person, and the conversation keeps revolving around their Ex. This is one of the red flags on a first date. Constantly referring to their Ex as a bad person or boasting about how good their Ex was is not ideal.
There is a place for vulnerability, but it’s not on a first date. There are better topics to discuss than talking about an Ex. The conversation on a first date should revolve around both of you, as you are trying to get to know each other. It should focus on your dreams and ideologies, not on the topic of an Ex.
4. Inappropriate Comments Or Jokes
When your date is making inappropriate comments or jokes—either about you, other people, or very sensitive societal issues—this is a red flag. This is a reflection of their mindset, worldview, and thought process.
Inappropriate comments or jokes are wrong for a first date because the goal should be to impress you and make you feel comfortable, not to say things that leave you with doubts about them.
5. Overindulgence In Alcohol
There is a list of things you shouldn’t do on a first date, and one of them is definitely overindulging in alcohol.
A first date is not the place to showcase your weaknesses. On a first date, control and modesty is key. Certain excesses should not rear their heads on a first date, and one of them is excessive alcohol consumption.
So, if you are on a date and your date keeps drinking, this is a problem because they are not trying to maintain control, which might not bode well for the date.
Add#ction or lack of control over alcohol or dr#gs is already one of the toxic traits to watch out for in a relationship, especially on a first date.
Red Flags On A First Date
6. Lack Of Interest In Your Life
You’re on a date, and your partner keeps talking about himself: all the things he has achieved, what he has done, his fascinations, dreams, or whatever it is that keeps him busy.
He doesn’t even ask the simplest questions about you or pause to allow you to contribute. Each time you try to chip in one or two things, he cuts you off and redirects the conversation to himself. This is one of the first-date red flags that you might want to watch out for and it’s one of the important qualities to look out for in the man you want to marry.
7. Poor Hygiene
When there is the desire for something to be memorable, there is a level of effort that both parties put into a first date. One of the most important things you do on a first date is that you dress properly, you smell good and you look nice. If your date shows up with rumpled cloth or shows up smelling, this is one of the first date red flags you must not ignore.
Showing up unkempt or smelling is a reference to how nonchalant your date is and how much they don’t really care about presenting themselves in the best light.
8. Bad Manners Like Table Manners
There are all kinds of manners: bedside manners, table manners, and social manners. One of the things that you should look out for is any form of bad manners that your date might display. The most obvious and immediate would be table manners.
On a first date, it is ideal and always advisable to exercise proper table manners. It’s very important that when you’re on a date, you eat in an orderly manner, you don’t eat in a way that puts off the person around you.
If your date is eating and talking with food flying out of his mouth and chewing too loudly, this is one of the first date red flags to look out for.
9. Aggressive Behavior
Aggressive behavior is one of the things that you would want to avoid on a date. This is one of the red flags to look for on a first date.
When your date has emotional issues or temper issues and is flaring out already at the slightest inconvenience, this is dangerous.
Aggressive behavior on a first date is inappropriate and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it is important to exit.
Your date needs to prioritize respect, communication, and creating a comfortable atmosphere. Failure to do this is one of the deal breakers in marriage you should not even condone.
Red Flags To Watch Out For On A First Date
10. Being Overly Critical
When your date is being overly critical it means they are very inclined to point out faults and imperfection. If your date is critical of people’s gestures, words, and simply the arrangement of things, including you, this is a bad sign.
There’s nothing wrong with being a perfectionist, but being unable to let anything slide is a problem because it is one of the bad habits that can ruin a marriage. The first date gives you a glimpse into a picture of how their mind works.
11. Avoiding Personal Questions
The sole purpose of an ideal first date is to enjoy each other’s company. However, there is a difference between personal questions and overly personal questions.
Personal questions are aimed at getting to know your person and what makes you tick, they are harmless questions. While overly personal questions are bordering on creepy and prying into your life, they are often leading questions with a touch of persistence. If your date is avoiding simple personal questions, you might want to be careful.
Here is a list of personal questions.
- What are your favorite hobbies or activities?
- Have you traveled to any exciting destinations recently?
- What career path are you currently on, and what do you enjoy about it?
- What are some of your short-term and long-term goals?
- Are there specific things that easily annoy or bother you?
- Can you tell me a bit about your family background?
- Share a funny or memorable experience from your life.
- How do you usually spend your weekends or free time?
- Do you have any favorite traditions or rituals in your life?
Here are some overly personal questions.
- How much money do you make?
- Tell me about your past relationships and why they ended.
- Do you have any chronic health conditions?
- What issues or conflicts do you have with your parents/siblings?
- What’s your stance on [controversial political or religious topic]?
- Have you ever experienced a traumatic event? Tell me about it.
- Do you want to get married and have kids? How many?
- How much do you weigh?
- Tell me about a major failure or mistake in your life.
- How many people have you been intimate with?
- Do you own or rent your home?
- Have you ever been arrested or faced legal trouble?
- What are your biggest insecurities?
- Where do you see our relationship going in the future?
- I noticed you were friends with [name] on Facebook. How do you know them?
You should take care not to ask these overly personal questions on a first date, but at the same time, if your date is deflecting from talking about himself, this should be cause for concern and it’s one of the red flags in men to avoid at all cost.
12. Inconsistency In Stories Or Information
There is nothing as off-putting as having a date who is not truthful about their life or activities. This is one of the worst first date red flags that you should look out for and should not ignore. One thing you should do is to watch for inconsistencies in their stories.
13. Pressuring For Physical Intimacy
A first date is more about emotional intimacy than s#xual intimacy. However, there is nothing wrong if you both consent to hooking up later. What is wrong and is one of the major red flags on a first date is if your date keeps talking about s#x and is pressuring you for s#x during the date. This is one of the red flags to look out for on a first date.
First Date Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore
14. Being Overly Negative
One of the things you should look out for on your first date is the overly negative trait. A little pessimism doesn’t hurt but what certainly hurts is being full of negativity. You should watch out for this kind of person who sees the world from black-coloured lenses.
Also, watch for a date who delivers underhanded compliments to you. It’s a terrible trait to show on a first date. These subtle first date red flags are mostly seen while conversing with your date. So you must draw your date into a conversation and see how their thought process functions.
15. Lack Of Communication Skills
A date who lacks communication skills is not the type you want to be in a relationship with. It is a recipe for heartbreak, so you must watch for this on a first date.
When your date is not interested in expressing themselves even after using conversation starters and leaves you to do all the talking, this is one of the first date red flags you shouldn’t ignore because this might be an indication that they are not interested in creating that emotional connection with you and might just be wasting your time.
This is one of the relationship deal-breakers you must not give room to because even after a first date it won’t get better.
16. Treating Service Staff Poorly
Being disrespectful or rude to a service staff shows the rotten personality that they have. Kindness makes the world go round. It’s very important that you don’t date someone who treats others poorly or like they are beneath him because there is no guarantee he won’t treat you the same. This is one of the red flags to watch out for on a first date.
17. Ignoring Or Belittling Your Opinions Or Feeling
You are on a date, and your date does not care to ask what you would like to have. You try to order what you want, but he does not care to reconsider his actions. While you both are in conversation, you offer your opinion or express your feelings on a certain subject, and he ignores, belittles, or invalidates your perspective.
Any of these scenarios, or something similar, is one of the red flags on a first date you should look out for on a first date.
Final Thoughts On Huge First Date Red Flags
First date red flags are there to tell you to stop whatever you are doing and evaluate the situation. So it follows that when you see these signs, they warn you of what is ahead. It is best that you take caution when seeing these red flags.
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