First dates can be exciting but also nerve-wracking. They’re a chance to make a great first impression, but the pressure can sometimes lead to mistakes that could ruin a budding connection.
While it’s important to be yourself, there are a few things you should avoid to keep the date going smoothly. From over-sharing personal details to constantly checking your phone, certain behaviors can send the wrong message or make your date feel uncomfortable.
To help you navigate that first meeting, here are 13 things you should never do on a first date if you want to leave a positive impression. Following these simple guidelines can help set the foundation for a successful connection.
13 Things You Should Never Do On A First Date
These things you should never do on a first date have destroyed potential relationships and caused many people to miss out on a good thing, so make sure you read and implement them.
1. Show Up Late
Punctuality shows respect and consideration for your date. If you arrive late, it sends the message that your date’s time isn’t a priority to you, which can create a bad first impression. This does not mean that unforeseen situations cannot happen, but if this becomes a habit, your date will see it as disinterest or poor time management, and of course, if they are big on time then you have lost a huge chunk of your brownie points.
For example, if the venue for your date is somewhere unfamiliar, check Google Maps and calculate how long it will take you to get there. Add 30 minutes to an hour to the estimated time, depending on how far it is (there might be traffic). It doesn’t hurt to arrive 30 minutes early; it’s certainly better than being 30 minutes late. By all means, strive for an excellent first impression.
If it’s a place you already know, plan to arrive early so you can settle in and relax before the date begins. Punctuality shows enthusiasm and reliability, both of which contribute to a great start.
Remember, first dates often come with a degree of nervousness, and arriving late only increases stress for both of you. Being on time not only sets a respectful tone but also allows the conversation to flow naturally without tension or a negative impression.
If something unavoidable delays you, call your date to inform them, and when you arrive, apologize sincerely.
2. Talk Excessively About Your Ex
Your date is interested in getting to know you, not your past relationships. Whether you have good memories or want to vent about an ex, bringing them up can make things awkward. It also suggests you might not be ready to move on. Focus on the present and get to know the person in front of you.
If your ex comes up naturally, keep it short and neutral. There’s plenty of time to discuss the past later, but don’t let it overshadow your current date. First dates are about creating new experiences, not rehashing old ones.
As a friend once put it, “Talking about your ex on a first date is a major red flag“. If you find yourself mentioning an ex often, it might mean you need more time before starting something new.
3. Use Your Phone Constantly
It’s incredibly frustrating to be on a date with someone who’s more focused on their phone than on the conversation. It can come off as rude and like you’re just not interested. Whether it’s scrolling through social media or texting, it sends the message that you’re bored and not paying attention.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make on a first date is letting your phone distract you. If you need to take an urgent call, politely excuse yourself, but otherwise, keep your phone out of sight and give your date your full attention.
While it’s easy to say that phones are a big part of our daily lives, remember that you’re there to connect with another person, not your screen. Constantly checking your phone can make your date feel undervalued or ignored. Show respect by staying in the moment, making eye contact, and really listening to your date.
4. Drink Too Much Alcohol
Drinking too much on a first date can send the wrong message and make things uncomfortable.
While having a drink can help ease nerves, going overboard often leads to poor judgment, oversharing, and embarrassing behavior. This can make the date awkward and hurt your chances of making a good impression.
It’s important to stay in control and be mindful of your actions. Stick to one or two drinks so you can remain clear-headed and focused on getting to know the person you’re with.
You want to leave a positive impression, and that’s hard to do if alcohol takes over.
5. Dominate The Conversation
One of the things you should never do on a first date is to dominate the conversation. It’s important to create an open space where both of you can talk and connect. A good conversation is a give-and-take, and if you’re talking too much without letting your date contribute, it can come off as self-centered.
Make sure to ask questions and show real interest in what they have to say. We’ve all seen those movie scenes where the guy won’t stop talking about his job, his car, or his yacht while the woman is clearly bored. Don’t be that person.
It’s also okay if there are pauses in the conversation; you don’t need to fill every silence. Sometimes, a bit of quiet can actually be meaningful. Pay attention to your date’s body language and responses—if they seem uninterested or checked out, it might be a good idea to change the topic or give them a chance to steer the conversation.
6. Discuss Controversial Topics Like Politics Or Religion
While deep conversations can be engaging, bringing up controversial topics too early, like politics or religion, might lead to discomfort or conflict. These subjects are personal, and not everyone sees things the same way. Plus, some people aren’t emotionally equipped or open-minded enough to handle them without getting defensive.
It’s better to avoid diving into heavy conversations on a first date, especially before building some rapport. Focus on keeping things light and fun to create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. Save the serious debates for later, when you know each other better.
The goal of a first date is to establish a positive, easygoing vibe without unnecessary tension.
7. Be Overly Negative Or Complain
Negativity can be a big red flag on a first date. If you spend the evening complaining about your job, the world, or past relationships, you risk creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.
A marriage counselor I know even avoids people who are constantly negative, calling it “low-energy” or “low-vibration.” You definitely don’t want to be that person on a date, bringing down the mood.
First dates are all about fresh starts, so it’s best to avoid kicking things off with a negative vibe. While it’s normal to vent once in a while, the main focus should be building a connection and enjoying the moment together.
Too many complaints can make you come across as ungrateful or pessimistic, which won’t leave the best impression. Keep the conversation upbeat and engaging, and talk about things that make both of you feel good.
Positivity is contagious, and showing interest and excitement about your life and experiences can make the date more fun for both of you. If you’re having a rough day, mention it briefly, but don’t let it take over the conversation.
8. Forget Basic Manners
Good manners are important in any social situation, especially on a first date.
Small gestures like saying “please” and “thank you,” making eye contact, and showing genuine interest in your date’s words can leave a lasting impression. Conversely, being rude, interrupting, or failing to show basic courtesy can quickly turn someone off. Basic manners are one of the qualities of a good partner, and you don’t want to come off as lacking.
Proper etiquette also involves actions such as holding the door open, chewing with your mouth closed, and being polite to others around you. Being courteous shows that you are respectful and thoughtful, which is important for making a good first impression.
If you exhibit poor manners, your date may assume this is a reflection of your character and it could destroy any potential for a second meeting.
9. Overshare Personal Problems
While honesty is important in any relationship, a first date isn’t the best time to open up about your biggest challenges.
Bringing up personal struggles too soon can shift the tone from fun to heavy, making the date feel more like a counseling session. It’s better to save topics like financial difficulties, family issues, or past traumas for later, once you’ve gotten to know each other better.
If you’re unsure what to talk about, try using this great conversation starter to keep things light and easy. Focus on keeping the conversation balanced—share interesting parts of your life without going too deep too soon.
Give your date the chance to get to know you gradually and let the relationship grow naturally. There will be plenty of time for deeper conversations once you both feel more comfortable and trust is built.
10. Bring Up Marriage Or Kids Too Soon
While discussing long-term goals is important in a relationship, bringing up marriage or children on a first date can create unnecessary pressure. Such topics may make your date feel like they are being evaluated as a potential spouse rather than you being interested in getting to know them for who they are.
One of the things you should never do on a first date is force serious commitments into the conversation before you’ve even built a connection. Keep the discussion light and focus on mutual interests, hobbies, and shared experiences.
11. Judge Or Criticize Their Appearance
First impressions matter, but making negative comments about your date’s appearance, clothing, or style is both rude and unnecessary.
Everyone wants to feel comfortable and appreciated, especially when meeting someone new. If you don’t find yourself physically attracted to your date, there’s no need to express it. Instead, focus on their personality, conversation, and how you connect on a deeper level. Genuine compliments can help break the ice and make your date feel appreciated.
One thing to avoid on a first date is making shallow observations that could hurt your date’s confidence.
12. Be Unkind To Service Staff
How you treat people, especially those in service roles, says a lot about your character.
Being rude to waiters, bartenders, or any other staff can be a major red flag. It shows a lack of respect and empathy, which are very undesirable qualities in any relationship. Your date will likely take note of how you interact with others and judge your character accordingly.
Showing kindness and gratitude to those around you is not only polite but also demonstrates maturity and consideration. Even small gestures like thanking the waiters or treating them with patience can make a significant difference in how your date perceives you, and you want to be perceived well.
13. Leave Without Offering To Split The Bill
The topic of who pays for the first date has been debated for years, but one thing remains clear: offering to split the bill is a respectful gesture.
Assuming that your date will cover the entire cost without discussing it can come across as entitled or inconsiderate. This is one of the worst things to do on a first date because it makes the other person feel obligated to pay.
Even if one person insists on covering the bill, showing a willingness to contribute demonstrates fairness and respect. A simple “Would you like to split this?” can go a long way in making the date feel mutually considerate.
Final Take On Things You Should Never Do On A First Date
A first date is a chance to establish a meaningful connection, and avoiding these common mistakes can make all the difference.
Avoiding things you should never do on a first date will make you an excellent person to spend time with and will leave your date with a lasting impression of you. The key to a successful date is to be present, considerate, and genuinely interested, these qualities will always leave a lasting, favorable impression.
Pin this for later!
